grammy gaga

manOman loooooooooooong time no see, eh?
i think many of the old gang has lost interest in this blogging thing - or maybe it is just me. i really have nothing much to put out there other than it seems most of my spare time is spent on ecig (vaping) forums these days.
yep, still vaping since february 5, 2011, with a slip of two cigs in august. yeh, the first cigarette tasted so shitty that night, whilst scotch-sated, that i had another.

dumbRme.

on another note, the malemate and i were invited to a couple halloween parties this year. good times at both. unfortunately, very few of my pics turned out, so i was dependent on others, in hopes they would post some to facebook ... which sucks.

the 'geriatrics halloween party' was a private party and entailed doing projects that we can expect to do when we go to 'the home'. it was funny and very entertaining - although my costume was rather dull. the malemate, however, was the bearded lady godiva.

the other one we were invited to was at the local bowling alley (of course). i went as grammy gaga and the malemate went as great grammy gaga.

there was a guy dressed as a dick. he made for a great photo op prop :-)

and that is about all i have for now.

btw, the joplin tornado was 20 miles from us and we had no damage. as sad as it is, it is the price one may have to pay for being in tornado alley.

i hope y'all are well! 

huff and puff and blow your house down

first off ...
what the hell is blogspot doing by asking me to add my phone number to my account right after i log in?
is this so they can pass it on to the president for his "alert" texts? 

yeh, we all know they will get it sooner or later.
i was hoping it would be after i was on 'the other side.'
sometimes technology moves too friggin fast.

moving on ...

i live in/near the line often referred to as tornado alley.
some days i wonder what it would be like to have all this blown to bits by some massive tornado. 
because then i would be forced to find a new place to live.

however, today is not one of those days.

pv mod humor

in the vaping world, ecigs are called pv's - personal vaporizers

most of the people that have a pv will modify it in some way to   accommodate/personalize it to their preference.
personal vaporizer modified

so the ecig then becomes the pv mod - but more often, it is just referred to as a mod.

this particular reviewer is quite well known in the pv world - but this 'review' is his extreme. funny stuff.

and so it goes ...

the relationship with the malemate is tepid at best. on the way home from OK this past weekend, he said, "maybe we should think about getting a divorce. we'll put the house on the market and split everything up."
believe it or not, i stayed silent.
so, on tuesday, as i was scouring the net to try to find some work, i kept one ear to the other room, listening for him to call a real estate agent. it didn't happen.
wednesday, it didn't happen.
today, it didn't happen.
maybe he changed his mind ... this time.
it concerns me.
what will be, will be... no doubt.

i do think about "the guy" every day.
stop it!
butButBUT i just received the latest brochure for overnights at the casino for the month of may.
stop it!
i wonder if i should book a room and text him.
stop it!

i think i need a timeout.
can i get that timeout with a scotch and a gorilla juice vape?
oh and a mind-thump chaser please.  

high gas price due to a gassy mouthed muslim

i hope no one is wondering why the price of gas is so high.

this lying progressive man-child we have in the white house put a moratorium on drilling in the gulf a few months back. surely people don't have such selective memories to have forgotten that.

how that half-white fool can say he is for the 'little guy' and actually have people believe it is beyond me.

i need some mental magic

i went mushroom hunting/picking yesterday. i didn't get picked up until 4:30pm. to say i was about bouncing off the walls from anxiety most of the day would not be far from the truth. 

however, today is a completely different story. i woke about 1:30am, got up, and got on the net, and have pretty much been there ever since. it is now 2:00pm. i have not even dressed and have no plan to do so at this point. why bother? 

i think i may have lost my friends shar and the cap'n. she and i had a chat the other day regarding an absolute insane decision they are making. i told her that the 'bubbas' that they have hired, are basically gypsy's and sooner or later they will take over their lives. and will use that new 'grandbaby wanna-be' as their 'in'. it was probably uncalled for, but if you knew the entire ordeal/situation, and the fact that i am pretty acute when it comes to reading people, it would all make sense. 

the malemate and i will be going to the OK! cousins for the weekend. i generally look forward to that - but not so much this time.  i keep wondering if i should  tell him about the 'stranger' if that would  move me past all of this shit that i continue to bury myself in.

i bet that when i snap my fingers, i will magically come out of this funk.

snap!

Snap!

SNAP! 

...

crackle? 

pop? 

okay, i have got to get serious about finding some work. this is ridiculous.

any excuse works, right?

i had a dream last night that included both my mom and dad. it was an extremely short dream.
mom looked absolutely radiant!
dad looked sad.
mom was walking with another man, someone i didn't know. she did not introduce me.
dad didn't stay around long. he walked away when mom came up to me.
i always wonder what prompts dreams - as i seldom remember dreams as sleep really is not my friend without some sort of medication.
i have disappointed myself. perhaps that is why they came to me. i have been giving myself a mental beating since 04/06/2011.

i met shar and the cap'n at the casino for an overnight. shar, another friend, and i were at the bar, drinking double scotchies. which in itself is odd, as i seldom drink when i go the casinos. i guess i just wanted to fade my brain for a bit ... to stop the thoughts for a few hours.

shar and i proceeded to do our 'catching up' chit chat, gamble a bit, and and drink. we ordered another and a guy at the end of the bar said something about the scotch. we were surprised, as we seldom run into others that indulge in scotch.
conversation ensued. the guy came over and sat by me and the chat turned subtly flirty.

ever since i have been married to the malemate (going on 19 years total), and in real life, i have always physically removed myself when conversation turns this direction, not wanting to encourage anything.
i was very much attracted to the guy, not sexually so much, but to the personality/aura, and for some reason, i couldn't walk away like i have always done. what was it about him?
he and i left the bar and headed upstairs.
i don't even know what to type about what did or did not happen from that point, but it was interesting/curious.
i left his room.
he had given me his card. daring doncha think since he too is married? ... for what? 27? years. he lives 1.5 hours from me.
damn him for slipping into my already fucked-down life.

can i use the events of the past few weeks as an excuse for my behavior?
i think i am adult enough to answer that with an absolute no.

loveyoubunches byebye

no question - it has been a helluva week this past week.

i got a call on 3/23/2011 - my dad was going to be taken to the hospital. the antibiotics were not working and it was time for intravenous antibiotics.

on 3/24/2011 my brother calls and said they tell him he has a heart valve problem and should a pacemaker be placed? dad never lived on his own again after the last surgery due to problems with the anesthesia - this information i relayed on to terry - terry relayed it on to the surgeon. the surgeon then suggests hospice. terry tells dad the grim situation. dad asks, "do i have today?" terry says, "yes, you have today." dad asks, "do i have tomorrow?" terry says, "you might have tomorrow." silence. they move him back to the nursing home.

on 3/25/2011 we get on the road at 4:30am - an 8 hour drive. around 9am i get a call from the nursing home stating that dad is non-responsive and his heart rate is between 40-50 bpm. i ask her, "we are about 1/2 way there, will he wait for me?"
she says he will wait. i text my nieces with the update. 5 minutes later my one niece texts back that she is there with dad. at this point it is just selfish to expect him to wait another 3-4 hours for me to get there and i know he does not want me to see him at his weakest physical point.

i call my niece and tell her to put the phone to dad's ear. i tell him some personal things, and then ask him not to wait for me. if he is ready to be with god and mom, then please let go.
then "loveyoubunches byebye" which is my closing phrase for dad, and then i hang up.

2 minutes later my niece calls back - "he heard you! he is gone."

r.i.p. dad - you are the only man that has ever loved me my entire life.

funeral arrangements are made - all 3 of us kids are there. my brothers treat me like a fucking dog during the whole time there. i make a memorial dvd. it turns out wonderful - and it was finished in time for the viewing on 3/28/2011. funeral is on 3/29/2011 - the malamate and i leave before the luncheon is even over with - i am tired of being treated like a second rate citizen by my brothers. i am out of there. back on the road.

we are halfway home and my gut hurts so bad that we have to stop so i can get some antacid. back on the road. an hour later i am throwing up everything. the pain continues. the entire trip home. we arrive home about 9:30. i try tums and lie down. no comfort. i get up and continue to throw up. i tell the malemate he needs to take me to the hospital. i get admitted about 3:30 3/30/2011. the pain is excruciating and i am given dilaudid via iv with a protonix chaser. again i throw up. the dilaudid finally relieves much of the pain.

testing starts the next day; blood tests; ultrasound; 3/30/2011 the hepatobilliary function test. 3/31/2011 doc reports all testing is normal. one more test, the egd.
4/1/2011 i am still in the hospital and feeling great - no pain, no pain meds for over 24 hours. the egd is performed around 6:30 - results come back normal. i ask the doc if all of this could be stress related? he responds with, "a good possibility." they release me.

i get home and start catching up on email just to read that my typing account has been taken over by the fucking electronic medical record - yeh, fuck you obama!

so, to summarize, my dad is gone, i have now spent overnite time in a hospital (first time in my life) with inconclusive results, and i no longer have any work.

there must be a message in there somewhere.

not so hot springs

tomorrow the malemate and i are taking a li'l trip to hot springs, arkansas. his 2 younger brothers are twins and they are going to be meeting up there and asked if we would come also.

i've been to hot springs one other time. we were there with the ok! cousins and had a really good time. we did the tourist stuff and as always, just enjoyed being with them.

this should be interesting this time (and i can only hope it will be FUN), as his one brother AND his wife are both ministers and the other one and his wife are both very much into their organized religion.

well, i'm just not sure what the entertainment is going to be - as we all know, i drink, gamble, and now vape (as opposed to smoke).
i'm guessing a sports bar for happy hour is out of the question.
the horse track (if they are running) is probably off limits.
doing the bath houses where, yes, you have to get naked to enjoy the natural hot springs, is probably on the no-no list.

i'm bringing a deck of cards along and maybe we can play some "oh hell" which we always play for a $1.00 a game.

i wonder if they would consider $1.00 for 17 hands as gambling?
obviously, we only play for fun, but it does cost a dollar per game -- not per hand.

oh, for crissakes, even jesus took a gamble on me ... oh and btw, god, thank you!

one addiction for another

it's been almost a month since i started the e-cig. during that time i have smoked maybe 4 analogs and am REALLY loving vaping.

i'm kinda torn on this though, because i am a die-hard gadget person, and vaping with all its paraphernalia is a gadget persons dream.

because of this, in less than a month, i have spent close to $500 on the e-cigs, juices, batteries, chargers, drip tips, atomizers, etc.

of course i can justify this!

when one starts smoking, one tries different brands, lengths, lighters, etc. to try to find the one that is just right.

well, that's what i am doing. i'm trying to find the model and flavor that is just right for me.
just today, i ordered one of these:



a phidias pv -- pv acronym for personal vaporizer - made by a craftsman right here in the USA.

it is going to be made of california pepper? wood and i cannot wait to get it.
of course it does not come with the special batteries, or the charger for those batteries, so i had to order them too. and of course it is going to take more e-juice, so that will be on my order for tomorrow.

at first i was feeling kinda guilty - but when the malemate came home last night after bowling and told me how much he spends EACH week on bowling, well, lets just say i could not WAIT til morning to get on this puter to get my orders placed.

let's give this a try

i have been tobacco free since 02/05/11. this is certainly not the first time i have stopped.
it seems i find a way a to use an event/disappointment/riding in the car with the malemate as an excuse to start up again.

however, i think i found something that just may work for me. i discovered the e-cigs. i had heard about them, but never knew anyone in r/l that used them.

i bought a disposable one in the local smoke shop and right away, it felt that i could use this as replacement. they had 3 different kits in the smoke shop, but for some reason, i just did not have a good feeling about them. so i started researching them.

this opened up an entire world that i knew nothing about. i was pleasantly surprised. at all the people that are using these and all the options.

for days, i read many forums, reviews, and watched oodles of opinions/reviews on youtube. the more i researched, the more overwhelmed and undecided i became.

the terminology itself was throwing me off - but i kept at it. it came to the point that i had 10-12 tabs open in firefox, each with a different vendor/product. finally i just pulled the trigger on one - the vapor4life starter kit. the next morning i got up and looked at it again, and researched some more, and realized that i am not going to be happy with that one. but it was too late. oh well, not the first time i have thrown away money -- and i am happy with my selections on the battery and l.e.d. - copper with a purple l.e.d. on the end - so who knows, maybe it will be okay.

so today i am impatiently waiting for it to arrive - and still continuing to read up on these things and watch even more reviews, and looking at other brands when i realize, i really don't want my new e-cig to be the shape of a cigarette - i really like the looks of the larger size ones and i really like the look of the mako midi but after further reading, it looked like it was a bit of a pain in the ass. so, i decided to click off it.

i ended up ordering the joye ego - in white ... naturally.
however, i did order some 'extras' to 'junque-i-fy' it to my taste, and i ordered a bunch of flavors and strengths. it will be interesting if i can actually kick the tobacco habit (or as the vapers call it - the analog habit) once and for all.

probably about the time i get really attached to these, the fucking government will ban them entirely -- and yet they refuse to ban cigarettes ???
i guess they haven't figured out a way to get all that tax money from the e-cigs like they get from the analogs.

by the next time i post, i will have received at least one of the kits and will be vaping away.

well hello 56

yesterday i turned 56. i was pissed on tuesday nite before going to bed - i hated it that it was the last day that i would be 55. i rather liked that double nickel age. but 56? well, it even sounds boring.

on my last night of being 55, we were slammed with 20" of snow, so when i arose on the first day of my 56th year, the world was covered in white. first off, i was bit torn with this, cuz i do hate the snow, but on the other hand, any shade of white is my favorite color - but definitely HATE the snow.

i downed a couple cups of very strong coffee, donned my jeans, sweater, down vest, coat, ear covers, gloves, and uggs and off to start the digging out in 1-degree temps. not long after, the malemate joined me and we managed to get it half done. we went in, thawed out for a couple hours, and then went back out and finished the drive.
it was tiring. cold. and i was in a pouty pissed off mood.

i came into the puter room to check on work only to find that i was having network problems. i isolated it to the router. i got on the phone with linksys. the foreigner is doing her 20 questions that have nothing to do with the hardware. finally she comes back and says i see that your 90-day free phone support has expired - and before she had a chance - i just said, "i guess we are done talking then." click.

pay for support or go buy another router? well, buying another router is by far the cheaper option plus i would get the free phone support for another 90 days.

by this time, i am really getting pissed off about what a crappyCrappyCRAPPY birthday this is.

i tell the malemate that i am going to walk to walmart to get a new router. he said he would go with, but that we should be okay taking the suv. so, for the third time, we bundled up in the layers of clothing, opened the garage door, got in the suv, started up, backed down the now cleaned off driveway, straight into the 20" deep snow of the street and, OF COURSE, we got stuck.

again, we grab the shovels and proceed to dig the suv out. got it dug out and pulled it right back in the garage.
clearly, i am not going anywhere on my day.
i stomped back in the house.

i went back to the office and started messing with the router settings once again.
finally, i just did a reboot on it - and miraculously, everything came back up - EVERYTHING - even my blackberry - which had NEVER connected to the router!

okay, so now i'm in a little better spirits.

then the malemate calls out that lunch is ready. he had made us his GREAT bacon burgers.

by now i'm starting to actually feel happy.

later, after i had showered and was winding down and had settled on the couch with a scotchie in hand, the malemate sits down on the other end - he grabs the lotion and tells me to give him my feet - he said, "afterall, it is your birthday and you should have a foot massage."
why yes indeed!

okay, at the end of that, i was feeling loved AND happy.
it ended up being a very good start to the 56th year.

thanks hank

i have not played golf since 1998? 1999? i sucked at the game, but i lovedLovedLOVED to hate it.

the reason i had to quit? because i developed an allergy to something on the fairway that broke the blood vessels in my lower legs. unfortunately, it ended up completely staining my lower limbs and what once were nice looking legs and ankles, now look like a botched tatoo job.

however, i do listen to rush limbaugh on the weekdays and he announced that he was going to be hank haney's next project.

i had to dvr this. why? because i wanted to see rush's before and after swing.

i have to say, my swing looked alot better than rush's did on the first episode. but, it was clear that by the second episode, he had learned much, even though it did not come across that he felt he had.

anyway, when i played, i would use the putter when i was on the outside of the green. the malemate and others i played with used to tell me to chip it in. but, the putter was my club of choice. i think i embarrassed the malemate by doing this.

as i watched the second episode of the haney project, hank told rush to use the putter to bring it onto the green.

i about jumped out of the chair whooping and yelling yesYesYES!

thanks hank! that felt soSoSO good!
i feel vindicated.

saying goodbye to once were perfectly good knees

i'm a bit of a walker. i take great pleasure in it. however, i am a fair-weather walker so when the temps start dropping i drag the treadmill out of hibernation and use that.

the other day after finishing on the treadmill, i had pain in one of my knees.
this is not good.
after about 5 hours the pain was all gone.
the next morning i rolled out the treadmill and did the chore - while watching dvr'd tv show
... wait for it ...

the millionaire matchmaker

yeh, not sure how i got started on that one. i think it was because i was trying really hard to avoid watching 'hoarders', which i secretly wanted to watch, and which i am now dvr-ing also.

okay, enough of a few of my treading/tv viewing choices.

anyway, the knee thing is a problem so i have to decide what to do about it.

i'm thinking an elliptical - but space is a huge issue - and from what i have read, the fold up ones give up quality to save on footprint.

so, i thought maybe a recumbent bike or maybe an upright/air bike.

what to do, what to do.

i just don't think i have it in me to 'stick' with any of the above choices like i have the treadmill.

and yet another phone

i've had the iphone for a few months now and i'm not as fond of it as i thought i would be. sooooo, the search is still on for the perfect cell phone.

i bought a blackberry off craigslist the other day. right off the bat, i was pleased with the size and weight of it compared to the iphone. it just seems to feel better in my hand. i also kinda like the idea of buttons as opposed complete touchscreen.

however, i must make a mental note to myself to always clear history before selling a phone.

apparently the gal i bought it from is not very techno-savvy as she and someone had real good time with the texting function.
this phone had so much sexting on it, i thought i was going to have dig out bob!

sure glad i did the alcohol rubdown before getting into the nitty-gritty of it.

2011 resolutions a girl can live with

the ok! cousins came to town for the new year celebration.

on january 1, 2011, j and i were lounging in jammies all day as the guys had a pool tournament to attend to.

around 5 in the afternoon, she proudly announced her new years resolutions:

1. drink more alcohol
2. gain more weight
3. exercise less
4. smoke more

after this she noted: "i NEVER keep my new year's resolutions."

i like the way she thinks.

me and j of the ok! cousins on nye 2010