-1+1=0

As I mentioned previously, my mom and I had differences. One of those differences being politics. She was a democrat and me ... not a democrat.

So, during the funeral arrangement days and between the bursts of tears, there were also jolts of humor. I said to the malemate, "Well, that will be one less democratic vote this election year." We chuckled.

The next morning the malemate and my two brothers took a li'l road trip to visit one of the relatives. They were gone for most of the day. When they got back the malemate pulled me aside and said, "Remember the comment about one less democratic vote?"
I nodded yes.
He said, "Well, you can cancel that because your younger brother jumped the fence since we last saw him!"

B-R-A-T!!!

thunderation

A huge thunderstorm just passed through. It brought quarter size hail with it.

I love a hearty thunderboomer ...

... until it takes my internet out. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

thanks for birthing me Mom

Towards the end of my mom's life, she didn't have much to look forward to except for a smoke now and then, a whiskey water now and then and her weekend date with dad, where he would pick her up and bring her home for the day.

During this last bout, she didn't even get to have any of those things. Dad could no longer take her home for a day, she could no longer go out for a smoke and the whiskey had become an absolute no-no due to the inability to stabilze her sugar.

Before the viewing on Sunday, March 16, 2008, I told Dad I was going to put a bottle of whiskey and a pack of cigarettes in the casket with her. He really liked the idea of that. I was pleased.

So that afternoon, when the family was at the viewing and after I had delivered the "goods" to mom, I was sitting by Dad and he said, "I would just love to have one more drink with her, just one more."
I looked at him and said, "that is do-able Dad."
I gathered up my two brothers and the four of us went up to Mom, and I reached in and took out the bottle of whiskey that I had tucked inside the casket moments earlier and handed it to Dad. He openend it, touched her hand with the bottle, in a toasting gesture, and took a swig. He then handed it to my older brother, who said a few toasting words and took a swig, then handed it to my younger brother who did the same and then it was handed to me and I followed suit. The cap was placed back on the bottle and tucked back into place with her.

She loved a snowy day. The day of the funeral, when the church service was over and the doors opened, to place her in the hearse, it was snowing. She got a beautiful heavy, wind-free snow during the entire time we were at the cemetary. It stopped when we all arrived back to town. The power of spirits, huh?

After the burial, we went back to the house. We were joined by the grandkids, great granddaughter, more family and friends. The younger brother put on the DVDs that Dad has been making over the past few years of the old still photos and the old home movies. I think there were 15-20 of us gathered around watching these DVDs. There was much warm chatter going on while viewing the captured memories and we all laughed hard while watching these. I was so glad I got to enjoy them with both my brothers at the same time.
What a neat gift my Dad has made for us.

it'll be alright

That's the phrase that was placed on Mom's headstone. it's the phrase she said repeatedly whenever anyone asked her how she was doing whilst coping with her diseases. She never ever complained.

She left us silently. Her sisters and brother, grandkids and great grandkids were all able to make it in time to see her before she passed. My younger brother didn't.

He had pretty much abandoned the family for the past 8 years. He even cut off communications with me for a long spell. I left him a message on his cell phone the weekend prior to her death regarding the urgency of the situation, but still no response. I told my older brother and my aunt, if we could just get his voice to her ear I am certain she will let go, as I know she is waiting for him.

While the malemate and I were en route back up there, he finally called Dad and Dad and my older brother arranged for a phone call to her room. She was non-responsive by that time, but they put the phone to her ear and the younger brother told her many loving things. Dad said she raised an eyebrow when she heard his voice. An hour later, on March 13, 2008, she left us for the hereafter.

She and I had a lot of differences, but I did love and respect her. Not everyone can be a wife for 61 years to the same person, or a mother to three brats. She did them both and she did them quite well.

She will be missed by many.

I will be writing a little more about this later as there was some really touching things that occurred over the past week that I want to document for myself, but not today.

home and back

I took a trip to Iowa this past weekend to check in on the parent situation. I am really glad I did. Mom is a tough ol' bird, but I think it will take more than that this time around. Dad is doing various strange things to cope. But, I did spend some good alone time with each of them and had some hearty laughs.

Going home is always interesting. I have been away from there since the early 70's ‑‑ yet, I still call it home. Then when I see how Dad is dealing with his life, I think I should really live closer. I just can't bring myself to want to be in that town though. All they do for entertainment is drinkDrinkDRINK. As we all know, I too enjoy my drink now and then ‑‑ but I really want more than alcohol.

So, I happened upon one of my old lovers when I was there. We acknowledged each other ‑ not much more. Of course my first thought upon seeing him again was of that night. I wonder if that was his too. My second thought was, I'm so glad that relationship never evolved into anything. I'm guessing he is too