life in the blah lane
This week I cried. Emotions came crashing down when I realized how much I hate being away from good friends. I have never referred to the malemate as my best friend. I have loved him, but he has never been a best friend. I don't share any in depth things with him anymore. I have no desire to, because early in the relationship, I realized he does not give it back.
In depth shares are a tit for tat thing for me. It's a trust builder. I'll gladly reveal, but I would hope that you trust me enough to also feel safe enough to do the same. I don't have that kind of feeling with him -- and obviously he does not with me either, as he has given up so very little over the years.
I just miss having a good friend within 10-15 minutes away. I am guilty of not orchestrating anything to change that in this town, which is really kind of strange for me. Making new acquaintances, some of them which turned to best friends, has never been that hard for me. I think it's because I have been 'out there' and open. None of that is true any more. I'm caged within my own anger. I wonder what will change that and when/if it will change.
I sure hope I'm not too old when it does.
I went and saw the movie "the bucket list".
I laughed.
I cried.
I was entertained.
I would rate it 8.5 out of 10
In depth shares are a tit for tat thing for me. It's a trust builder. I'll gladly reveal, but I would hope that you trust me enough to also feel safe enough to do the same. I don't have that kind of feeling with him -- and obviously he does not with me either, as he has given up so very little over the years.
I just miss having a good friend within 10-15 minutes away. I am guilty of not orchestrating anything to change that in this town, which is really kind of strange for me. Making new acquaintances, some of them which turned to best friends, has never been that hard for me. I think it's because I have been 'out there' and open. None of that is true any more. I'm caged within my own anger. I wonder what will change that and when/if it will change.
I sure hope I'm not too old when it does.
I went and saw the movie "the bucket list".
I laughed.
I cried.
I was entertained.
I would rate it 8.5 out of 10
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4 comments:
Hi Honey,
I am sorry to hear youare sad. I do know how it feels. My friend/housekeeper Marie moved away 6 months ago. I did not realize how much she meant to me. Now, I dont have a girlfriend either. I have lived here 11 years and I know alot of people but no one has slid into the best friend slot.
I talk to my sister and my gay friend richard on the phone and that is my social life :(
I miss you, MUAH (deep throat this time)
Kat
Ps I emailed Twila/Dramma your address here, she asked what happened to yo :)
PPS
Did you get your keyboard?
I'll best your newest bestest friend. And I'll even try to be really really good at it!
I understand how you feel. I've lived in Alabama since 1991 and never in that time have I had a best friend. It sucks. We live in a small town where everybody has known each other since kindergarden and they don't really like letting those outside that circle come inside. Even my last years in high school were torture here being the person who just moved here. And trust me, I moved a lot during the time my Dad was in the army and never had much trouble making friends in the new places. This place is different.
I guess that is why Armando is my best friend. I hope when we get our own home and move that we can make new friends and make our circle bigger. It is nice to have good friends that you can count on. It's been way too long since I've had that.
Too bad, you, Kat and I don't live closer together. We could make our own circle. We'd have a blast!
Sorry I have not been able to do much translation work since being here. The days are spent visiting and going places but when I get home, I plan to get serious with it.
I've been wanting to see the movie Bucket List!
Love you,
Michelle
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