the next ordeal
my dad is 85. he lives alone. he has a body that is broken - back, hips, and knees, incontinent, and according to the doctor, now somewhat mentally.
we were there this past weekend and it was clear that he is even more broken than when i saw him in november. it breaks my heart to watch this 6'3" man struggle just to get up out of a chair.
when i talked to the doctor's office, they told me he scored 19/26 on the preliminary Alzheimer's test. He's now on Aricept.
his blossomed obsessive personality drives us all nuts. he buys stuff that is useless (he says it's for us???) - little does he understand (or chooses not to understand) that we don't want it.
this past weekend he tells me he wants to sell everything and move to the 6-plex which is 'semi'-assisted living. we look at that place plus another one. he really liked the first one.
i am thrilled, to say the least. it's simply not safe for him to live alone any longer and i'm 8 hours away - my one brother lives 1.5 blocks from him, but they do not have a very good relationship.
tuesday night, the malemate is off bowling and i've just poored myself a cocktail and starting to shut down for the day -- the phone rings.
it's my older brother. i answer and he goes off on me about 'stirring up shit and then leaving...like i always do'
huh?
i'm sure it appeared that way to him. so, i proceeded to tell him that it was NOT MY SUGGESTION OR DECISION - that dad had told me he wanted to do this - we simply went and scouted out a couple places with him.
apparently, dad listed the house and set an auction date with the local real estate broker/auctioneer (yeah, how convenient is that combination?) for a date in july. a date that simply does not work for my brother -- and a date which my brother specifically told dad not to go for. it's like dad is doing everything he possibly can to alienate himself from those that just want to help.
this is going to be my longest summer ever.
we were there this past weekend and it was clear that he is even more broken than when i saw him in november. it breaks my heart to watch this 6'3" man struggle just to get up out of a chair.
when i talked to the doctor's office, they told me he scored 19/26 on the preliminary Alzheimer's test. He's now on Aricept.
his blossomed obsessive personality drives us all nuts. he buys stuff that is useless (he says it's for us???) - little does he understand (or chooses not to understand) that we don't want it.
this past weekend he tells me he wants to sell everything and move to the 6-plex which is 'semi'-assisted living. we look at that place plus another one. he really liked the first one.
i am thrilled, to say the least. it's simply not safe for him to live alone any longer and i'm 8 hours away - my one brother lives 1.5 blocks from him, but they do not have a very good relationship.
tuesday night, the malemate is off bowling and i've just poored myself a cocktail and starting to shut down for the day -- the phone rings.
it's my older brother. i answer and he goes off on me about 'stirring up shit and then leaving...like i always do'
huh?
i'm sure it appeared that way to him. so, i proceeded to tell him that it was NOT MY SUGGESTION OR DECISION - that dad had told me he wanted to do this - we simply went and scouted out a couple places with him.
apparently, dad listed the house and set an auction date with the local real estate broker/auctioneer (yeah, how convenient is that combination?) for a date in july. a date that simply does not work for my brother -- and a date which my brother specifically told dad not to go for. it's like dad is doing everything he possibly can to alienate himself from those that just want to help.
this is going to be my longest summer ever.
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3 comments:
i got nuffin but a hug for ya.
you have my sympathy. this scenario is raising its ugly little head for me, as well. is this what they meant when they said, "you pay for your raising?"
jockfullouseless
Mom was on aricept too. Now they took her off and say we are waiting, time will tell if she has dementia or treatable delirium. It is difficult. I feel your pain gal. Mom is confused every day now.
((Big Hug))
Michelle
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