life - unlife
on may 23 we got a somewhat frantic call from the stepson's ex-girlfriend. the malemate's son (who lives in california) had not picked up his son that morning and had not called. the ex-girlfriend had also called the malemate's ex-wife who lives in texas. the ex-wife called the police in san bernardino california - as this action of the son was out of character.
about 20 minutes later we get another call from the stepson's ex-girlfriend. she drops the bomb that the stepson is dead. he was 30 years old. until the autopsy results come back with confirmation, the coroner thinks it was either sleep apnea or a heart attack. the stepson was morbidly obese.
the stepson had such a defeating financial uphill battle in front of him. he was looking forward to getting back into trucking cross country so that MAYBE he could get himself out of this deep hole that he had dug for himself.
the stepson and i had our ups and downs over the years - but the communication over the past few years had gone much better. i'm just glad i had the chance to tell him thanks for the granddaughter - as she is someone special.
i'm so sad for the malemate as it simply is not natural for the child to die first. he has his bursts, but he has been great with orchestrating the things that must be dealt with to put his son's remains in the proper places - from half a country away - along with the ex-wife, who is also holding up as well as can be expected.
initially, i was not going to go with the malemate to CA - as i did not get the feeling he really wanted me there. keeping in mind that i do not get along well with his daughter, his ex-wife and i have very little, if no respect for the son's ex-girlfriend (who is also the mother of one of the stepson's kids). but let's face it, death trumps my distaste for those women.
so as of wednesday night, i will be going with the malemate to CA. my main reason for going is that i did not want him to be alone when he picked up his son's remains. it will be devastating for him when he realizes that will be the last time he will carry his son in his arms.
thank you mike for the two beautiful babies you gave the world.
rest in peace
mike b. 02-28-1979 - 05-23-2009
about 20 minutes later we get another call from the stepson's ex-girlfriend. she drops the bomb that the stepson is dead. he was 30 years old. until the autopsy results come back with confirmation, the coroner thinks it was either sleep apnea or a heart attack. the stepson was morbidly obese.
the stepson had such a defeating financial uphill battle in front of him. he was looking forward to getting back into trucking cross country so that MAYBE he could get himself out of this deep hole that he had dug for himself.
the stepson and i had our ups and downs over the years - but the communication over the past few years had gone much better. i'm just glad i had the chance to tell him thanks for the granddaughter - as she is someone special.
i'm so sad for the malemate as it simply is not natural for the child to die first. he has his bursts, but he has been great with orchestrating the things that must be dealt with to put his son's remains in the proper places - from half a country away - along with the ex-wife, who is also holding up as well as can be expected.
initially, i was not going to go with the malemate to CA - as i did not get the feeling he really wanted me there. keeping in mind that i do not get along well with his daughter, his ex-wife and i have very little, if no respect for the son's ex-girlfriend (who is also the mother of one of the stepson's kids). but let's face it, death trumps my distaste for those women.
so as of wednesday night, i will be going with the malemate to CA. my main reason for going is that i did not want him to be alone when he picked up his son's remains. it will be devastating for him when he realizes that will be the last time he will carry his son in his arms.
thank you mike for the two beautiful babies you gave the world.
rest in peace
mike b. 02-28-1979 - 05-23-2009
Posts
3 comments:
you both have my deepest sympathy. of course, words are never enough, and this is, indeed, a parent's worst nightmare.
my thoughts are with you, and I'll wave to you as you fly over.
xoxoxo
rob
brenda, my heart goes out to you, especially the malemate. It is soooo WRONG to bury your child. I am glad he has you right now...he needs you.
in less than two minutes you made all the little crap in my drama the smallest of minutiae.
Big hugs...my heart is with you.
the mouse
How tragic, Brenda! It's definitely the right decision to go to CA and be there for your husband...he'll need you more than ever during this difficult time. My condolences to you and your family - I'm so sorry.
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