forgive me dad

last thursday my dad went in for surgery - cystoscopy and transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP) under anesthesia. when i talked to him after the surgery, he seemed a little confused the first day - but not too bad. the second day after surgery he was babbling nonstop - and bleeding. they had given him 4 pints of blood by now and the nurses could not tell me why he was babbling nonstop but they did tell me that he will sit there and have conversations and no one is in the room with him. the third day they decided they needed to go back in to see if they could stop the bleeding. they evacuated a very large clot and cauterized bleeders - again under anesthesia.

the fourth day i talked to yet another nurse - a guy named steve, who is from my ittybitty hometown and knows my dad. i asked him about this terrible confusion and babbling - as i had done with the previous nurses AND who could not give me an acceptable answer. steve told me that he has seen this quite often with older people that have had anesthesia and that sometimes they come out of it and sometimes they don't. god bless steve for telling me this because i had no idea why this had come upon dad soooo fast - virtually overnight! i had no clue that anesthesia could have that type of short term? long term? effect on some older people.

the docs stopped the bleeding and he is peeing clear now so it's time to discharge him - even though he is in a totally confused state of mind. the hospital social worker calls yesterday and tells me that he simply cannot be alone. well, that's another problem because he lives alone and eight hours from me.

the decision had to be made about a nursing home. my brother, who supposedly has 'power of attorney' is somewhere in the southern part of the state on vacation. i finally got a hold of him and explained the choices - as the hospital will be discharging dad before the brother is home from vaca.

even though the hometown nursing home is going to cost more per day, we thought it would be better to have him there where people would come visit him. i have no idea what his finances are and i do not know how this is going to be handled financially. i arranged with the director for them to pick dad up and bring him there upon his discharge.

a couple weeks prior to this, the family took his car keys and car away. a couple weeks before that he moved into a 6-plex apartment, after being in the house for 20-25 years. a couple weeks before that the doc gave him an alzheimer's test - he scored 19/26. the doc put him on aricept. this has been a very fast downward spiral for him.

i know he does not want to be in a care center. i know he cannot come down here - he's 85 and has been in the hometown his entire adult life. i know he's going to hate us if he does recover from the effects of the anesthesia and realizes his money is gone and he's in a nursing home.

please, god forgive me - and god, please be kind to him, he's my dad.

watching the clock

i'm sitting here trying very hard to get some work out that needs to get done.
i cannot focus.
it seems every second i am checking the time.
my mind and my heart are elsewhere.

in 17 minutes peggy will be at the viewing of her son.

it crushes me as i think about peggy seeing her only child lying in the casket ...
he, being completely at peace - she, being completely shattered.

NO ugly cookies

NOTE: guess i forgot to post this one for some reason

for the 4th of july party i decided to make cutout cookies in the shape of stars. i thought cookies won't melt in the sun and everybody likes a cutout cookie.
very appropriate don't you think?

i mixed them up, chilled them, rolled them, cut them out, baked them, and then i made the frosting.
it was a new frosting recipe and it actually was an excellent one.
but after i got the frosting on and started in with the sprinkles, i could see that they just were not going to be pr'E no matter what i did. and of course, i made a double batch - so then i had about 60-70 uglyUglyUGLY cutout cookies - and no time to try to make something else to take.

the ugly cookies were going with me to OK.

i made mention of the ugly cookies on the facebook page - where the OK! cousin can see.

i tell ya, those OK! cousins are some real shits!

when we pulled into their driveway they had these signs posted in the doorway - check out the 'examples' of what is 'excellent' and what is NOT ALLOWED.




and my reaction:

and the second one

I was on the phone with my lifelong friend and cousin, Peg, yesterday. We were rehashing the week - she talking about concerns of two of grandkids there in Alaska and the shape her ex-daughter-in-law and son are in. Both are alcoholics - and recently had started hooking up again with each other. She's telling of the struggle she is having with all this and in mid-sentence she says, "who is that pulling in my driveway?" She pauses, and then says it's the ex-daughter-in-law." Then I hear her say, "something is wrong. Oh God I hope it's not my son."

Five to ten minutes later she calls back with the devastating news, "Todd passed away."

Todd was her only child - he was 35 years old.

So, there she is over half a country away and dealing with the death of her son. I asked her if she wanted me to come out. She said she wanted to sleep on it.

Her mother and a half-sister will not be going out until the 21st. Peg has a strong al-anon family there - thank GOD she became involved in that over 2 years ago. She also has a significant other that she recently started seeing. He has been away for about 3 weeks - but said he would be making arrangements to fly back in while she is coping.

I am in the midst of making another memorial DVD slideshow of someone I know. I hoped I would not have to do that for quite some time because when it's someone you know and love, it completely drains you emotionally.

Since music is not my thing, megaTHANKS to Jockfulloftunes, who is going to help with the music selection. The family will be scanning and sending the photos ASAP - and hopefully, I can have this put together and sent out to her by the 22nd.

I am so sorry for Peg. Todd was a troubled soul, but he was always a treat to be around- there was never a dull moment.
His heart was full of love - but his dreams could not get past the liquor.

With much love ~

Todd Christopher W.
12-29-1973 ~ 07-12-2009

the toshiba dildos

I've got vista on one of my machines.
i hate it.
i had to call for support last week (to some God-forsaken foreign country) cuz i couldn't get the 'restore' option to open.
the 'tech' told me "i can help you with this. i will get your machine back to where it was when you purchased it."
umm and will you also come over here and spend all the hours re-installing the software?
dildo!
i figured it out - i had to start it in 'safe mode' and then do the restore.
i'm going to see if i can get a job on their help desk.

the 4th here and gone

we were in Oklahoma this past weekend. another couple went with us over to the OK! cousins.
sometimes people mix well, and sometimes not so much. i'm trying to make this work - but the truth is, the other gal and i just don't have much in common. and the more she tells about how her financial relationship is between her and her man, the more i'm losing all respect for both of them.

of course it's NONE OF MY BUSINESS! but she keeps telling me - why do you suppose that is? i have asked her why she puts up with that crap and all she says is, "it's better than being alone."

i guess we all have our price that we will pay to avoid being alone, eh?

ok, so i cracked a beer kinda early that day and ended up being a passenger rather than one of the drivers on the ATV - thank GOD i remembered the salt shaker so i could continue drinking&riding.





Below is a dilapidated tribal graveyard - each of the roofs are from these little 'houses' they build over the graves. inside they place some of the deceased's favorite things - usually articles of clothing and such. it's quite interesting to see. this particular graveyard does not get much maintenance - as you can see. the other one we went to was for indians of foreign wars - that seemed to be kept up a bit better - there was even one of the 'houses' with a red tin roof.








i caught the hen and her chick in the hen house settling down for the night. we were surprised to see that the chick could get up to the top rung of the roost. the chick stayed safely tucked under the hen's wing - the flash of the camera did not seem to startle them in the least.




check out the bench seat 'molded' between the trees. this is on the farm where the party was on the 4th. part of the land used to house arock quarry. on the backside of this is this oldOldOLD shambled rock building. one of the "farmer's daughters" told me she thinks that is where the owners of the rock quarry lived - unfortunately, my camera would not get any decent photos of it in the dark - and i was not going to chance crawling under the electric fence to get closer - and going over the electric fence - well that is just dumb



some of the OK friends killing worms and minnows.

gone with the curtain?

once a week i try to make a stop at the local thrift store. the last time i was there they had 4 silk curtain panels, each one about 48" x 84". they were a $1 each. hey! $4 for all that 100% silk fabric - it's definitely going home with me.

i washed them up - even though it says 'dry clean only'. needless to say, they didn't wash up so nice - well not nice enough to hang anymore. what to do with them now?

on a side note, when i get out of the shower/tub, i really hate to dry off - i'm lazy and prefer to just throw a 'thirsty' towel or robe around and wait it out.

well, in this unforgiving heat we've been having, a terry robe or heavy towel is just a bit much. so, i decided to make myself a pareo. I tore out the cotton lining from one of the silk curtain panels and finished up the edges on the sewing machine. it is so much lighter weight than terry cloth and serves me quite well. it's just an oblong piece of fabric tied in knots - not much creativity in that.

scarlett o'hara i ain't.

the next ordeal

my dad is 85. he lives alone. he has a body that is broken - back, hips, and knees, incontinent, and according to the doctor, now somewhat mentally.

we were there this past weekend and it was clear that he is even more broken than when i saw him in november. it breaks my heart to watch this 6'3" man struggle just to get up out of a chair.
when i talked to the doctor's office, they told me he scored 19/26 on the preliminary Alzheimer's test. He's now on Aricept.

his blossomed obsessive personality drives us all nuts. he buys stuff that is useless (he says it's for us???) - little does he understand (or chooses not to understand) that we don't want it.

this past weekend he tells me he wants to sell everything and move to the 6-plex which is 'semi'-assisted living. we look at that place plus another one. he really liked the first one.

i am thrilled, to say the least. it's simply not safe for him to live alone any longer and i'm 8 hours away - my one brother lives 1.5 blocks from him, but they do not have a very good relationship.

tuesday night, the malemate is off bowling and i've just poored myself a cocktail and starting to shut down for the day -- the phone rings.
it's my older brother. i answer and he goes off on me about 'stirring up shit and then leaving...like i always do'
huh?

i'm sure it appeared that way to him. so, i proceeded to tell him that it was NOT MY SUGGESTION OR DECISION - that dad had told me he wanted to do this - we simply went and scouted out a couple places with him.

apparently, dad listed the house and set an auction date with the local real estate broker/auctioneer (yeah, how convenient is that combination?) for a date in july. a date that simply does not work for my brother -- and a date which my brother specifically told dad not to go for. it's like dad is doing everything he possibly can to alienate himself from those that just want to help.

this is going to be my longest summer ever.

the road to mend

tomorrow we leave.
it will be the hardest trip the malemate will ever take.
the first thing after landing, we will go to the coroner's office, from there to the crematory, from there to the place where mike lived and died.
i don't know how the malemate will react to such a morbid start to the short trip.
i know i'm glad i'm going with him so he won't be alone.

this past weekend i needed help with the music for the slideshow dvd that i did of mike. the stepdaughter is in the music business and i thought maybe she would lend a hand - since it is for her half-brother. so after 10? 12? years of basically no communication, i emailed her and asked for her help with the song selection.

she sent back 6 songs - 2 in which she is the vocalist. to say i was thrilled is an understatement. it was a loving gesture and i used both of them.

but not only did she send music, she sent a very heartfelt note. she opened the option to crossover our differences.

it goes something like this:
without either of us having to apologize for past vicious words, she is willing to go forward from this point on. i have to give it to her - that had to have been hard for her, because just 2 years ago, she made it perfectly clear to her dad that she did not want me at her wedding. her wish was granted - the malemate went to her wedding alone.

i see this arrangement as very doable. and for the malemate's sake, i welcome the opportunity.

however, i do not see much changing other than when she calls and if i answer, i may ask how she and her family are doing.

i may even sign the birthday cards now too.

and if the malemate dies before me, i'll call her and let her know.

life - unlife

on may 23 we got a somewhat frantic call from the stepson's ex-girlfriend. the malemate's son (who lives in california) had not picked up his son that morning and had not called. the ex-girlfriend had also called the malemate's ex-wife who lives in texas. the ex-wife called the police in san bernardino california - as this action of the son was out of character.

about 20 minutes later we get another call from the stepson's ex-girlfriend. she drops the bomb that the stepson is dead. he was 30 years old. until the autopsy results come back with confirmation, the coroner thinks it was either sleep apnea or a heart attack. the stepson was morbidly obese.

the stepson had such a defeating financial uphill battle in front of him. he was looking forward to getting back into trucking cross country so that MAYBE he could get himself out of this deep hole that he had dug for himself.

the stepson and i had our ups and downs over the years - but the communication over the past few years had gone much better. i'm just glad i had the chance to tell him thanks for the granddaughter - as she is someone special.

i'm so sad for the malemate as it simply is not natural for the child to die first. he has his bursts, but he has been great with orchestrating the things that must be dealt with to put his son's remains in the proper places - from half a country away - along with the ex-wife, who is also holding up as well as can be expected.

initially, i was not going to go with the malemate to CA - as i did not get the feeling he really wanted me there. keeping in mind that i do not get along well with his daughter, his ex-wife and i have very little, if no respect for the son's ex-girlfriend (who is also the mother of one of the stepson's kids). but let's face it, death trumps my distaste for those women.

so as of wednesday night, i will be going with the malemate to CA. my main reason for going is that i did not want him to be alone when he picked up his son's remains. it will be devastating for him when he realizes that will be the last time he will carry his son in his arms.

thank you mike for the two beautiful babies you gave the world.

rest in peace

mike b. 02-28-1979 - 05-23-2009

the new tank - maybe not

i bought myself a new notebook - yep, another toshiba tank. the problem is, it has vista on it. i really don't want to educate myself on vista. needless to say, i have been dragging my feet on setting it up. however, i really need to get it done if i'm going to keep it because we are heading to the hometown the first weekend in june and i NEED to take a laptop along. the old one still works - it just seems kinda slow and it needs a new battery. i would have to buy a new car adapter for the new one also - which isn't that much - i just don't want to buy it, if i can't decide whether i'm going to keep it or not. these seem like such simple problems - which they are - but they are just the type of thing that will consume me.

i just did some research on that model of toshiba - and apparently there's problems with the power adapter. so, i think that answers my dilemma. i'm going to stay with my old one for now and take the new one back. i just don't want to deal with the hassles right now. i'll do it like always do it - when i absolutely have to - when this notebook completely dies on me, at a most inoportune time and i am in a full-blown panic mode.

so, i'm off to ebay to buy a battery for the old one.

sanyo tv is my new monitor

i got up the other morning stressing about how i had to get the previous day's work out. i flipped on the computer and waited.
what? no picture on the screen?
so i turned the machine back off, turned the monitor off (for the first time in months) and then turned it all back on.
still no monitor.

crapCrapCRAP! now I have to take time out of my day to go out and buy another flat panel monitor. aren't those things supposed to last forever? that's what they say about them in the landfill, so what gives? ;-)

the broken monitor had the speakers built in. when i had the machine built, i asked for and paid extra for that specifically so i didn't have to have the extra contraptions sitting on my desk, speakers that is. as it turns out, the built in speakers on that acer monitor sucked, and i eneded up having to buy separate ones anyway.
yeh, learn from me on that one.

so i made the trek to my local wally world to look for a computer monitor. they had monitors, but nothing i liked. in the meantime, the malemate was looking at 52" tvs.

it dawned on me that an lcd hdtv should work as a monitor for my computer AND the speakers are built in.
so, i bought myself a sanyo 19" lcd tv for $184.
now, here's a little bonus. at walmart they have a 15-day return policy on most electronics - including computer monitors, but for tvs it's 90 days. plenty of time to find out if it will work - unlike the 15 day crap.

i brought it home and plugged it in. it came up without any 'tweaking' on my part and voile' i have picture! and the sound? very nice.

i'm so techno-savvy that my brain hurts...
or maybe that's the overdose of scotch last night.

cable cometh

this photo may not mean anything to anyone except for the folks in my 'hood', who have been anxiously awaiting an option for high speed internet.

the photo is of a trench digger broke down in my backyard -- waiting for repair so that they can CONTINUE dropping cable for cable tv and, more importantly, cable HIGH SPEED internet!
yeh, it's broke down, but i'm sure they will be out there digging with their shovels and hands if they can't get it fixed, because they know how badly i want it.

yes, soon i will be surfing the net and downloading from the comfort of my own home at speeds I have not seen in almost three years and without any caps or FAP bullshit.

I see the hughesnet must be noticing the pull away from their piece of shit offerings as they have now widened their 'unlimited download window' from 3 hours a day to 5 hours a day.
too little too late hughesnet.

on a different note, my little city had their annual 'city-wide garage sale' this past weekend and thanks to the OK! cousin, i had someone to go to them with. it was nice to do that once again with someone. i've gotten so used to doing that stuff by myself that i almost left her at one of the sales -- forgetting i had a junkin buddy for the day.
kidding of course :)

i think my best buy was the Bose ear buds for $5 -- and maybe the 5 foot long 'wall art' metal branch for $15. damn! it was a good time and apparently this once-a-year sale doubles the size of the town for a couple days.

oh, and my fruit pizza was such a big hit with the OK! cousins that it was gone in 2 days and i had to make another one -- which also was gone in two days. good stuff i tell ya.

the dullDullDULL life

the re-install of the spyware is done. it went well and i had about a month's worth of stuff to review. in case you are wondering, it's all good.
yeh, surprises me too. maybe he really does want to make something of this relationship. of course he has been checking single ticket, one-way airfare to california. interesting.

i found a new toy on the net the other day -- new to me. it's called digsby. it's a multi-protocol messaging application. i have used trillian and pidgin -- but this digsby, hands down is my new favorite. if you are opening bunches of chat applications cuz you have people on all different ones, try the digsby - it even includes facebook.

the new work has been going pretty well and steady.
damn, i hate to post that. it seems every time i do, it gets yanked out from under me. i chat with the other gal from the now defunct gastro account almost on a daily basis and she really thinks this new work is going down. she said it again yesterday -- i hope her comment is cuz she doesn't like the new gal and not intuition.
of course, i haven't seen a check yet either and it's been a month and a half.
suddenly, i'm bummed.

post SA

i'm feeling pretty OK after being fired from the volunteer work at the SA and being dumped by her. i missed not going there yesterday. i missed the laughing and and playing in the kitchen - but i'm actually okay with it. i have looked back on what i now realize was a 'quasi-friendship', or more commonly called acquaintance and see that it probably wasn't me at all. she has lived in these parts her entire 44 years and never talked about getting together with any life-long friends and doing things. i find that very odd when i think back on it. i still connect with my friends from junior high when i go back home and even chat with some them online occasionally. so, i've come to the conclusion that it's her. she sucks as a friend, hence that is why she does not have any. her loss, cuz i may not be good at a lot of things, but i'm pretty good at being a friend.

now, about the malemate. i bought myself a new computer a few weeks back. i have not installed the spyware on it yet. i'm still debating it. the malemate has not been on his machine much for the past few months. maybe he realized i was serious the last time we had the chat about his shenanigans.

who am i kidding, of course i'm going to install it on here. in fact, i'm going to email the company right now and see how i can move settings and logs from the old drive to this one. gotta go - i've got work to do.

textual dumping

I have been volunteering for the past two and half years on Sunday mornings at SA. Through there I met Leslie. She was so much fun to work with and I thought we were friends. Apparently not as I received a text from her the other day that said: "i dont want to talk ... i need some space. it would be a good idea if u didn't volunteer right now. please dont call or come by"

huh?

I had just talked to her on the phone the night before and she filled me in on some very troublesome things that are going in her life -- but, she seemed okay with me. Needless to say, this came out of nowhere for me and sent me into a little mental tailspin.

So, after living here for going on three years now, I'm ready to leave. Clearly I'm not meeting any people and clearly I'm not going to make an effort to do so.

So, after doing some serious thinking about things and realizing how unbelievably lonely I really am, I think it's time to move back to the hometown. I hate the cold winters and the sweltering summers -- but it would be good to be around famdamily and at the very least have something to bitch about.

If only the malemate had not fucked up our lives, I would not feel like I have lost almost three years of my life. Will this anger and disgust ever go away?
What's done is done - I really need to let it go and move on.
I wish I knew how to do that.

the neighbor has it right

my neighbor is showing his heartfelt disappointment regarding the inauguration.

i feel his pain.

the power of enthusiasm

the gastro account ended last wednesday. wednesday afternoon I got a call from a shari in texas who said I submitted a resume to someone in oregon and that person forwarded it to her.
refresher reminder: there are no secrets on the internet
it's obvious from shari's voice that she is both overwhelmed with work AND very excited about her new account -- which i might add, she single-handedly brought back into the USA from a company in india AND the head doctor of this facility is indian -- turban and all!

this is absolutely hugeHugeHUGE! and megaKUDOS to her for doing so.

for those who don't know much about the medical transcription industry -- this india issue is a real problem here in the good ol' USA. the medical records (which often times include SSN and date of birth) are electronically shipped to india to be typed for 2c-4c/line, which is a good deal for the doctors -- however, it sucks for those of us in the industry for obvious reasons and it sucks for the USA consumers because of the privacy issue. The privacy law (HIPAA) is a USA law only, hence if you ever worry or wonder about identity theft - don't forget to consider your doctor's office/medical records and where they are sending your information to be transcribed.

i was very upset about what she offers for money, but pacified a bit because of the gross line counts. she just sounds so desperate for help and she sounds like a very wonderful person and she has soooooo much enthusiasm in her voice that i couldn't turn her down.

umm, that and the fact that, out of all of the resumes i've put out there, she is the only one that has responded.

i'm back to typing ortho for much less money than before AND i'm really excited about it!

i'm a pushover.

reclaiming/recycling is kitsch

i've been collecting 100% wool sweaters and felting them in the washing machine.

i now have quite a grouping of these and went surfing on the net to find some inspiration of just what to do with these.

after looking through hundreds of sites and even more photos, there is no question in my mind - this 'going green fad' with reclaimed/recycled fibers has much to be desired in terms of style and taste.

sadly, everything i saw made from these sweaters is simply kitsch.

well, except for maybe the felted coffee cozy or maybe the felted slippers .

i think i'll keep looking

internet/media WTF?

this cell phone issue has been quite the educating experience for this ol' gal.

i had been checking online after i suspended the service on 1/1 to see if there were any calls being made.
nothing.
tonight i decided to check it again - even though i've reactivated the service - i thought maybe these old eyes may have missed something.

well, sure as shit they had.
i scrolled down the page further to the text and internet/media section.
after all, i had to check out the texting portion of the bill because i sent my very first text message at 11:23 12/31/08. my niece had sent a happy new year message and i saw the 'reply' option. so, being the good aunt that i am not, i thought, what the hell, surely it can't be as addicting as IRC chat was in the early 1990's, as the texting is far too much work.
so, i replied with the typical aunty response of "happy NY 2 u 2 - b safe luvya"

and then i noticed this really RED bar on the internet/media section - to a wap.cellular.
there had been 8mb of data sent from 2:30 a.m. to 4:30 a.m.
i had no idea what wap.cellular or internet/media was and I sure didn't have the phone in my possession at that time.
i called at&t and told the gal that i don't even know who/what wap.cellular is and what is all the internet/media data usage about?
she stated, "there was $82.03 of data sent over the internet."

me: "huh, and to think all i did was reply to a text message at 11:23 pm 12/31/08."

the good news is, she took it off my bill as it had nothing to do with my text reply.
the other good news is, i didn't lose the phone - it was stolen.
i have been vindicated.

oh, and i really do like that texting thing. i'm pretty sure i'll be turning up that service on my phone.
so, for all you that I have cell numbers for --
chk ur msgs cuz i b txtng u

think pink

fact: the malemate really does not like the color pink - apparently it threatens his masculinity.

fact: we have one cell phone that we both use when needed.

fact: the cell phone dilemma came to an end yesterday around high noon. i found a cheap used one on craigslist.

fact: the replacement phone is PINK!!!

some days it's the little zings that give a spark of pleasure.

the frugal shopper:
here's a piece of information that other at&t wireless folks may find of interest and could save you a couple bucks. Sim cards generally need to be replaced in used phones and they cost about $25.

if you need to replace a lost/stolen at&t cell phone, you can just buy one of the cheap GO Phones ($15). Then call the at&t wireless support and have them reassign the sim card to your account (a sim card comes with the GO Phone - but do not tell them it is from a GO Phone). You do not need to buy any minutes for the GO Phone to work with an activated sim and an active at&t account. The GO Phone can be used to finish out your contract. However, just between you and me, I wanted the pink phone for reasons of spitefulness - so I also bought the GO Phone and pulled the sim out of it and put it in the used pink phone.

you can hear me now.

wireless withdrawals

i cannot believe how the loss of the cell phone has driven me into depression. it seems to be so ridiculous ... just buy another one and get on with life.

buy another phone - right.

have ya looked at the choices on ebay?
i have been scouring ebay and craigslist and researching on the net for the past 3 days and still cannot make a decision.

obsession is a problem.

i'm getting headache.

you can't hear me now

i lost the new cell phone at the NYE gathering. i'm having cell phone withdrawals. not that i use it the often - it's a security thing.
it's like having the car in the garage for days and never driving it -- but once it's gone, so is the security.
having one's possessions within one's control.
hmm, maybe it's a control thing and not a security thing at all.

either way, it has sure made the start to the new year mighty shitty and pouty and the search is on for a cheap at&t cell phone. freecycle here i come.

and then we were without running water for 18 plus hours over the past day. that's another thing that sent me to the xanax bottle.
the contractors that build houses these days really have their heads up their asses, doncha think?
we got a new, bigger hot water heater, however, after getting it all set up, the glue had to set for about 18 hours. hence, no water because the contractor did not install a shut-off valve to the hot water heater. so the water was shut off at the main inlet.
the good news, it's installed, filled,turned on and putting out hot water.

that jacuzzi is gonna feel good tonite.

wishing you a great 2009!

Here it is - the end of the year already.

The OK! cousins were supposed to be here in the wee hours this morning. This has been planned since October. However, the 'she' half of the OK! cousins decided in mid December that she would be flying up to Lincoln, NE, on Christmas day and then arriving back in Tulsa around midnight on the 30th.
Well, how stupid can one be to fly on the Christmas holiday when it's not an emergency? And then to fly to the SNOWY Midwest yet too.

Needless to say, because of airline delays (what a surprise, eh?) she did not get out of Lincoln until this afternoon and will fly via Chicago O'Hara (she'll be lucky to get out of that hornet's nest on schedule) and then FINALLY land in Tulsa, arriving around 7:30 pm tonight. From there her man will pick her up and drive for about 2 hours to Joplin, arrive about 10pm to meet us for 'bowling 4 bux' --- which will be half over by the time they arrive.

Yeh, I'm miffed about this stunt. Her man suggested to her, before she left, that perhaps she should arrange to come back on the 29th rather than 30th -- due to the inevitable holiday flight delay issues. But noooooooooo, she had to have her way and now she has managed to fuck up a whole lot of schedules and plans for several people.

She likes to think of herself as the princess -- but today (and maybe tomorrow), she's a twat.

Have a safe and fun New Year's Eve and I'll catch up with you next year.

English only for the thieves

The malemate mentioned that a couple foreign exchange students from Spain were at the bowling alley yesterday. I've heard of exchange students from Sweden, China, France, etc., and we had one from Brazil when I was in school.
I don't think I've ever heard of exchange students from Mexico.

I guess they figure they don't need to exchange with the U.S.A since they can just come here illegally and rob from our education system. Too bad they aren't forced to learn English - perhaps they would not be so anxious to steal from the education system.

The best gift Bush could give the U.S.A., prior to departing next month,would be to open up the "English the National language" issue.

We all know his noodle spine won't allow for something that positive. Instead his legacy will be the "war on terror" which will never be won because there ALWAYS has been terror and there ALWAYS will be terror somewhere.

He really should have come up with a more 'winnable' name.

... but it's snot

The malemate felt the need to share his #*&$(#*$! head cold with me.

Honest to God, I did not know this pinhead of mine could hold that much snot.

ahhhhhhchooooooooooooooooo
sniffle sniffle

just when you think ...

... you've got your world by a string, the rug gets ripped out from under you.

i've been typing for a gal on the east coast for about six months now and although it doesn't pay very good line counts, the work has been unbelievably steady.

i got an email last week from her telling me that she has some 'bad news'. the docs are all getting laptops with the dragon naturally speaking (voice to text software) and they won't be needing us to type for them anymore after february.
manOman if the work isn't getting shipped overseas, it's going to the voice to text. ain't that a bitch. so once again, i'm scrambling to find some work.

merry christmas?
i'm thinking not so much.

should i or shouldn't i

many years ago, well from 1994 to 1998?, i had an online sweetie. we have not had any contact since then. imagine my surprise when i see an invite to his facebook space in my email. it tells me i have to join facebook in order to see his space. it looks like i will automatically be listed as one of his friends if i choose to join.

yep, i would sure like to check him out - but, i would sure like to do it without him knowing i'm checking him out.

why, after so many years, has he made contact?

trav'lin about

i traveled to the hometown this past weekend. the malemate and i left on tuesday morning and came back on sunday. i got to see everyone i wanted to see and taught some of the relatives and friends how to make the rugs and then as a parting gift, one of the li'l darlings gave me the crud to come home with. family, gotta love 'em, right?

actually, the crud seems to be just a 24-hour thing and i think i'm on the mend. it makes for a really long 8-hour drive home though when one of the rhea sisters decides to take the trip with ya -- uh that would be dia not gonor. i had a touch of panic when traveling at 75mph, passing three semis with no room in between and you see the sign that says "last rest stop in missouri - 1 mile"

apparently my dad is going to be taking a 'date' over to one of my aunt and uncle's house this week for happy hour. i have known this woman all my life and have always enjoyed her. i am thrilled that dad may have himself a 'buddy' to do things with. however, she is much older than he ... she is 92 he is 85.

i hope you all had a good turkey day.

p.s. gas was $1.36/gal when the malemate filled yesterday.

chocolate diamonds?

i saw one of the christmas ads from kay jewelers tonite. i am pretty sure they called those brown things 'chocolate diamonds'
right.
they look like little shiny turds.

i think they should call them SSDs.
shiny shit diamonds.

marketing - gotta appreciate those that make ice cream outta horseshit eh?

boring for you

gas was $1.66 a gallon today. supply and demand, so they say.

i went to arkansas last weekend. it felt good to be there. it would have felt better if dear shar could sleep with the light OFF - but that did not happen. no problem, the awake hours made up for the wannabe sleep hours.

now that i am older and get concerned about things that may and most likely will go broke, i try to push myself on some things. balance is one of those things. i try very hard each morning to put my footwear on by standing on one foot whilst putting on the other -- and then to push myself a little further and while still balanced on one foot, i reach for the other half of the pair. some mornings i end up with fewer bruises than others.

i get to head to the hometown in about a week. i'm really looking forward to it. some of the cousins and nieces want to learn how to make the toothbrush rag rugs and i'm ready to teach them.

we had a leak in the kitchen sink this week. where the hell is joe the plumber when ya need him? still out campaigning? i told the malemate it needed to be dealt with before january because there probably won't be many small business plumbers after the new regime takes over. ah, that's just silly. as long as the dollar has value, there won't be a problem.
dollar having value? hmmm what's the chances of that?

project complete - kinda

here's the finished latest obsession.

at this point the holes have not been drilled through the back for the cabling/cords.

i don't know if they ever will be.
because of that, the accessory contraption(s) will sit on top.

and that part does not make me happy, but i will live with it ...

for now.

something to think about or not

I saw a t-shirt the other day that said:

what if doing the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?

I have post-election day drain, disappointment and disgust.

but, I'll do the hokey pokey and know that it's really all just bullshit.

not any crackle will do

the experience with the crackle paint technique on the dresser was yet another learning experience. i have done some crackle before ... on small projects.

needless to say, i ended up having to do several areas of it twice. so, now i feel like a professional ;-)

the first time around, i followed the directions on the can including using a 1/4" nap roller to apply and letting it dry for an hour before adding the top coat.
talk about some shitty results!

on the second attempt, i had to sand the bad spots down, reapply the base coat and again apply the crackle paint - which again went on with the roller and a thin coat, because i wanted smaller cracks and lastly the top flat coat.
The two big differences that i did the second time around and which proved to be more successful for me were:
1. i let it dry for an hour and half or more.
2. i thinned down my top coat paint with water before applying.

i'm not thrilled with the results, but i'm happier with the second attempt than the first attempt. a coat or two of varnish, a few cord holes to be drilled in the back, attach the hardware and i think it might be ready for prime time tv.

then i s'pose i'll have to try to make the coffee table match the entertainment center and then the end tables and then the ...

i hate this house.

dearest blog,

i know i'm drunk, but please know that i have missed you dear blog. i think about you every day, but then i get consumed with other things. but today, i'm going spend some time with you ...
time that you may not be interested in.

i started a couple hours ago working on a $20 dresser that i want to make into an entertainment center. i have so many painting techniques that i want to do (specifically a rust finish), but the wall it will set against is too busy and won't allow for any fun stuff. so, i will just do a crackle on it ...
maybe.

the past week my anxiety has been my best friend, unfortunately.
i'm so concerned about the election. i had such a hard time focusing on work. thankfully, one of the gals i type for is also consumed and worried about it.

i just cannot believe that people in the greatest country in the world cannot understand that trickle down works both with wealth and poverty. if taxing "big business" is the answer, then guaranteed, the big businesses will send more of their jobs to foreign countries. then,how will all those programs get paid for? if there is no money, there will be no handouts.

when did we stop being a country of self-reliance?

guess i'll go pee now and then have one more toddy with a xanax chaser.

God forbid the nobama fool gets into office ...

... and steals the American dream from the working people.

excerpt from: http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/10/13/obama-plumber-plan-spre
ad-wealth/

Barack Obama told a tax-burdened plumber over the weekend that
his economic philosophy is to "spread the wealth around" -- a
comment that may only draw fire from riled-up John McCain
supporters who have taken to calling Obama a "socialist" at the
Republican's rallies.

Obama made the remark, caught on camera, after fielding some
tough questions from the plumber Sunday in Ohio, where the
Democratic candidate canvassed neighborhoods and encouraged
residents to vote early.

"Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn't it?" the plumber
asked, complaining that he was being taxed "more and more for
fulfilling the American dream."

"It's not that I want to punish your success. I just want to make
sure that everybody who is behind you, that they've got a chance
for success too," Obama responded. "My attitude is that if the
economy's good for folks from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for
everybody ... I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good
for everybody."

rant on:
So, what would be the reason to work and try to better oneself if that money-grabbing asshole is just going to punish you if/when you reach that magic number of $250k?
Does it occur to anyone that some people simply do not want to work because they are lazy and EXPECT it to be handed to them? What the hell is fair about rewarding the lazy bastards with someone else's sweat?

What a fucking idiot.
But thankfully, it was said on camera. If you want to live in a semi-socialist state -- then pleasePleasePLEASE move to a country that dictates as such. There are plenty of them
around.

rant off
kinda

books & buttons

Even tho I really enjoy the little mp3 player for listening to books when I walk, I also take pleasure in reading books. Bookmarks can sometimes be more hassle than they are worth in paperbacks. So, I always use a simple little paperclip. Well, in an effort to make the simple paperclip bookmark even handier, I 'customized' it so it's even more functional for my fingers.

Now, if you would like one of these just send me $1000 and I'll get one off to right away.
Or, you can just look at the pictures and make one yourself with a large paperclip, a loop back button and some super glue.




We have a Disabled Veteran's Thrift store nearby. Every Sunday they run what I call the quarter sale. Their dating system is by color code -- colored tags; orange, white, blue, yellow, green. Every Sunday they choose a color and anything with that color tag is a 25c or 5 for a $1. Needless to say, I generally walk away with a couple 33 gallon garbage bags FULL for less than $10. I figure I can by a piece of clothing with 4-8 buttons on it for a mere 20c. Of course it's not just clothing, it's anything. It's one of the highlights of my week.

Okay, I think I just revealed how dull my life really is.

frame it up

The malemate managed to wash AND dry the cell phone on Sunday. Surprisingly, it actually had some life left after all that - that is until I saw that it needed charging. I plugged the phone in to get it charged.
That phone is no more.

So, that meant a trip to Joplin to get a replacement. I had a couple other stops to make anyway, so it was going to be a worthwhile. One of the stops was to deal with eye glasses. I've been wearing some form of corrective lens since I was 9. It's face jewelry as far as I am concerned and because of that I get what I want, not what I can afford necessarily.

They had changed their sign out front to read "SARAH PALIN GLASSES ARE HERE!" I walk in and the place is swarming with customers. Obviously, the new America's sweetheart has been good for the eyewear industry. I notice that one of my favorite clerks is wearing the Sarahcuda frames. They look darling on her.

But for me, I chose what I call the Aristotle Onassis look and I am good with that.

barnyard sale!

I'm out here at the OK! cousins this weekend. Sadly, they have the farm for sale. It's time to wind down, I guess.

But how does one downsize all those toys, tools and equipment without going through an auctioneer?
A barnyard sale of course.
The OK! cousins called and asked if we wanted to come help.
Hell yes!
So the past two days we worked the barnyard sale and I'm actually going home with less than I came with.
But then, JAH (female OK! cousin) did not have any of the household stuff on this sale. That will be for another weekend. I'm pretty sure I'll need to rent a pull trailer at that point.
Well, maybe I lied a little. I am going home with a huge old metal water trough. And won't that be cute painted barn red and placed in front of my house with sweet potato vine and flowers?

JAH and I did steal a couple hours yesterday afternoon to take a long spin around the nearby sections on the ATVs. We were on a mission. I mentioned I wanted to check out the pecan trees and see how they are doing, because the one across the road was barren of any pods.
Off we went.
It looks like pecans are going to be very expensive this coming year. We did not find one tree with pods on. Not a single one.
Apparently, they had no rain here in the month of July and that is the time of year that the pods form.
I guess I'll survive a year without pecans, but those poor squirrels are going to have a helluva time. They have not had a nut famine in years.
The strong will survive.
Thank God the government can't meddle in that cycle of life and fuck it up.

dead woman walking

I was walking into a store yesterday and since it was a perfect sunny day, I had my sun glasses on.

Two young boys were coming out, followed by the mother tugging a younger third tyke.

The middle-aged boy, I would say he was somewhere between 4 and 6 years of age, points at me and yells, "Look mommy, a dead lady!" Mom, tried very hard to to act like she wasn't listening to the little waste of egg and starts fussing with the one she's dragging along like it was a security blanket.

Well, noticing that she hadn't responded and hence assuming she didn't hear him, proceeds to yell much louder, again with his finger pointing straight at me, "LOOK MOMMY, A DEAD LADY!"

I need botox ...
and some serious plastic surgery.

yo momma didn't tell you?

I have heard people say 'things that my mother told me', and I'm sure somewhere buried in the bowels of my mind, I have run across one or two things that my mom told me. But, the one thing she never talked to me about is menopause.
A couple critical things I wish she would have mentioned:
1. For some females (such as those from her bloodline), hot flashes will last a lifetime.
2. A female should never eat after the age of 40 because one ounce food in the mouth equals one pound of fat on the thighs and you know how much volume fat has.
3. A female will never get a good night's sleep once the perimenopausal stage begins.

Something that really tweaks me is that the malemate went through manopause whilst we were living in California. He had the night sweats baaaaaaaaad for about four years. I don't think he's had a night sweat since then. I started having them around 1999, and although I don't have them every night, I STILL get them and that includes ... while I am on hormones!
grrrrrrrrrr snap bite blood

I really don't give a shit about the scare of cancer and hormones, because I'm pretty sure I'd be homicidal without them -- so which is it gonna be? Me with a 50% chance of not getting cancer or others that would have 0% chance of survival with me off them? hmmm?

Yeh, it's been some serious sleepless nights the past week and the wicked witch of the Midwest is back.
I think I need a double dose...
and just to be on the 'happy side', I best wash 'em down with double shot of likker.

gambling solo

I had such a GREAT day today. The malemate recently took on a part-time job ... on the weekends. That would be the very same days that I am not working. Yeah, as of today, I am really happyHappyHAPPY about this.

So, I dropped him off at his work and came back home.
I piddled and paced around for a couple hours thinking about the things I should be doing and, more so, the thing I want to do.

So, I jumped in the car and went gambling.
All by myself.
I was there for about 3 hours and broke even.
Damn, it felt good to go gambling without an 'overseer'.
In fact, it felt so good, I think I may just go do it again tomorrow.

almost forgot to mention

I am thrilledThrilledTHRILLED on the McCain pick!
and I got such a warm feeling all over myself when I heard the words Palin and barracuda used in the same sentence, on the news.
I think I'm in love -- not lust cuz that's just not for me, although she is a juicy-looking tart doncha think?

So, my question is ... will b. hussein o. and/or biden actually be alive and well come election day? will one or the other bow out or check out so billary can slime her way into one or the other positions?

on another note, 2 weekends ago during the Democratic convention--that wife swap hug between the hussein's and the bidens - it sure looked like the 'hug' between michelle and biden was much more than congratulatory/appreciative.
verrrrrrrry intimate /me thinks.
interesting that michelle tolerated biden that far 'into' her space. But she didn't pull away at all -- in fact, she leaned into it. curious for sure.

the last 3-day weekend of summer 2008

wowOwow when i was younger, i could not wait for the three big weekends of the summer.
and now - they seem to come and go and i just let them pass me by. i didn't even get in a single float in this summer.

however, since this past week was national bowling week, i did do my part in participating in the attempt at setting the nationwide world record for the most games bowled in one day (August 30) ... and for my 'efforts' i got the t-shirt to prove it.

and then it was back home to a martini
speaking of which, it's time to freshen it

raaaaaaaaaape!

I hit a snag the past couple weeks. Some good news, some not so good.

The not so good:
My toshiba tank crashed - only because of a stupidStupidSTUPID reaction on my part.
I pulled the power and removed the battery because it seemed to be 'hanging' during a restore after installing xp sp3.
The tank was out of commission for a spell.

The good:
I picked up a new account

The not so good:
With the crash, I lost the photo of JockFullofNuts' dick

The good:
The new account has bunches of work, I don't work Mondays, and I'm educating myself -- gastro -- yeah, burping, belching and pooping. oh well.

The not so good:
It doesn't pay worth a shit.

The good:
The tank is back ... sans XP SP3 and I don't believe I will ever try 'upgrading' to it again. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

and now, on to the strange title:
I have a real hard time reading forwarded mail, regardless of who it comes from. Luckily,most of the people that know me well, know that I open very little of it, so I get very little of it.

However, this is so damn funny -- well as funny as statutory rape can be:

gotta love that southern hospitality

The walk through the hood this morning was in a very fine, cool, soothing mist.
Thank you God.

During the walk, I noticed that off to the side of the new house that one of the builders has just finished, there was a pile of bricks.
I called and left a message asking if I could have 15 of them to line my ittybitty flower bed with.
I got a call back late this afternoon from the builder's wife.
She said in her ever-so-southern voice, "I mint to get back to ya soona. You jist go ahead and git yuself some of them bricks. In fact, you best get 20 of thim, jist to make sure you have enough."
Life in the Midwest.

stuffing my olive

rant on

My younger brother and his wife were in Iowa this past week.
Interesting thing - prior to them making the trip to Iowa, he emailed me and asked if I was going to come up while they were there.
HUH? You ignored your family for almost 10 years and had not been home for more than that, and then Mom went and interrupted your Mexican vacation by dying and you had to terminate the holiday early to jump a plane back for the funeral -- sans the wife -- and this was AFTER I had emailed and called you 2 weeks prior to her death to tell you that she had been placed on hospice care.
ohhhhhh I really need to let go of that anger.

However, no, my dear little bro, I will not be there while you are there. I will be there on Thanksgiving ... as I am every year -- and besides, I have been there 4 times already this year. And you have been there how many times in 13 years?
But I do love you and miss you, very much, and I miss what we had.

rant off

I spent the weekend in Arkansas at Cap'n Max and Shar's. It was Cap'n Max's birthday. I think I can safely say, all that were present had a great time and those that didn't ... well they weren't drinking the right stuff.

Speaking of drinking, I was introduced to dirty martinis this weekend.
That's a shame. It's a shame because I really like them.
Or maybe I just like the olives.

Which also reminds me -

knock knock
who's there?
olive
olive who?
olive you

teehee
save it for the grandkids -- it's never wasted with them

me and Firefox 3 NOT

I installed the Firefox 3 on the notebook. It let me know that several of my add-ons were not compatible.
I can live with that for now, as I know that sooner or later the creators of those add-ons will catch up.
However, I could no longer download files.
After a few searches on the support site, it didn't appear there was much 'real' support for this issue. grrrrrrrr
So, I started my day off with a 'restore'

I'm not lovin' computer technology today

the dead vibr8or

my favorite vibrator broke.

needless to say, the next problem is ...

... how does one dispose of a broken vibrator?

i didn't feel comfortable throwing it out in my own trash

sooooooo, on the morning walk 'round the hood,

i dropped it in my 70+ year old neighbor's trash

/methinks those trash guys are going to have a whole new respect for her

I think I've got it

The photos from the AK trip have become quite the hassle. My Dad does not have a computer but he does have a DVD player on his tv. Well, since realizing my CD/DVD player was fried, I did purchase a new one and this time I bought a DVD burner as well -- hoping to get these photos onto something that Dad could watch. Poor ol' guy has no bragging rights to show his buddies.

So, over the weekend, I spent many hours just researching softwares that would make a slide show of photos to a DVD that could be viewed on a DVD player attached to a tv.

After researching and reading many reviews on various programs that do this, I decided on ProShow Gold. It looked easy enough. So, I decided to try using my brand spanking new Vuze program to see if I could find a copy.

Well, looky there! There's several versions available. I grabbed one that had good comments, but was not the latest version. I installed it without any problem and found that I could get the latest version now that it was installed. OhHappyIsMe.

The past two days I have been assembling and editing the 272 photos. First I had to renumber all the photos as both Peg and I were taking photos and I needed to get them in chronological order. I added a bunch of instrumental music and some motion effects and, as of this moment, in about one hour, I SHOULD have a DVD that will play on his player.

I'm saying a prayer - and just for a little extra, I'm crossing my fingers ... and toes.

educating myself

The other day I realized my CD/DVD drive was not working. I have only used this maybe 25 times in the past 3 years, so yeah, it was a little upsetting. But, that had cause to go to the local computer guy to have a new one installed. This time I got a cd/dvd burner. I probably won't use that any more often than I used the CD burner, but it was one of those 'gotta have it' days.

Whilst I was in the shop, there was another customer, whom it appeared to be a regular. I was talking about pirating DVD movies and such and how to get around the copyright locks. He proceeded to tell me about BitTorrent and about downloading and installing a client and then basically getting anything I want; movies, music, audio books, and most importantly, a program called 1 click dvd copy pro and the key.
I guess it is time to educate myself on this matter.

I downloaded and installed Azuerus - now called Vuze. I searched and found the program the guy told me about and then I thought, "hmmmm, I missed Sex and the City when it was in town, I wonder if that is on here."
Well of course it is! So, I read the comments on various uploads and found one that had all positive and started the download.
Well shitShitSHIT! It was 5:50am and my "unlimited download time" on this fucking satellite connection is from 3am to 6am. That put a halt to that download...
...for now anyway. :)

In the meantime, I guess I need to educate myself on the BitTorrent terminology.
It's a whole new world again.
Today I love computer technology.

once again

It's Independence Day...again. I love fireworks. I think I'll be going to the grand opening of the Downstream Casino. I heard they will be doing fireworks at 10pm. Of course I'll get there early to make a 'contribution' to the casino.

I am looking for new work to add to my current contract...again. But, that's okay. Someday I'll find a contract like what I had with manda. It is worth the effort.

I started smoking whilst on vacation...again!
Yeah, I suck.

My Dad gave me a rain gauge when I was back home. It rained 1.3 inches on last Sunday.
At least I THINK it rained 1.3".
I really don't know, because the other day I noticed that when the malemate waters the lawn it hits the gauge and he doesn't bother to empty it. So, I guess I can truthfully say, "It rained on Sunday", and I know this only because I got caught in it on the morning walk.

some more of then

I haven't mentioned lately how much I am enjoying my new ZEN V Plus player. I ripped and burned several books on CD to it before the trip and am still going through them on the morning walk. It's Grrrrrrrrrrreat! But unfortunately, when I lie down to listen, I fall asleep. Then I have to playback until I figure out where I dropped out at. That is not so grrrrrrrreat.

One of the things my Dad was adamant on, regarding the AK trip, was that we bring lots of salmon home. Well, that we did - about 40 pounds worth. There were 5 in the fish wheel when we arrived outside of Glenallen. One was a big king red. Tony (the owner of this fish wheel) swapped it out with someone else's down the river as the red salmon are really only good for smoking according to those that fish salmon and we weren't going to be there long enough to wait for that. Yeah, I did not know that the reds are generally used only for smoking by the natives because when a king turns red, they are about to die. Imagine that -- cuz in the market, the canned red salmon is considerably higher priced. Interesting, huh? BTW, fish wheels are illegal for the non-Alaskan natives, but that does not stop the seven owners of the seven wheels that were set in this area. A little rebel in us all.

Here's a pic of me after grabbing one of the silver salmons out of the fish wheel on the Copper River (which is a glacier river, hence the silvery gray color of the water). Obviously, it has just dawned on me that coming down the ladder was a helluva lot easier than going back up and I'm contemplating how many strides it will take me to get back to land ... without getting wet, of course.



Before I left, Peg gave me this pic. It's so appropriate for us. I hung it in the office across from where I sit so when I look up it is the first thing I see. I miss her.

back home blues

The poop plugging pills that the doc gave me the day before leaving for Iowa worked wonders and I was able to make it up there. I was in discomfort and kept my distance from Dad and the family so as not to give IT to anyone. The next morning I got up and felt much better and the best news was that Dad felt good and it seemed we were going to Alaska.

We boarded the plane and off we went. Peg picked us up at 8:30 Thursday night and the vacation was on. We had decided to do an 'on' day and then an 'off' day in order to keep it paced well for Dad to be able to enjoy all that we had planned.

I can never put into words how fabulous it is to see Peg. We just click. And when we laugh, we laugh til it hurts ... and several times we ended up peeing our pants. I love her so much, it tears me up when I think about how I wish we lived closer, but know that it's not going to happen any time soon.

To keep it short, we did see a lot and I got to drive the 2.5 mile tunnel that goes into Whittier and we saw the lazy man's way of fishing salmon and ended up bringing home about 40 pounds of the stuff. We took a train trip (now THAT'S the way to travel!) and then on a 5 hour boat cruise through Resurrection Bay where we saw 2 orca whales, a humpback whale, harbor seal, puffins, black bear and cub and much more. It was a wonderful time and Dad says he's going back in two years.

I'm in!

flu tag and I'm it

If this doesn't suck! I woke around 11:45 last night with that horrible acid stomach and I knew whatever was in there, was not going to stay in there very long. Sure enough. I got to the bathroom and up came the acidy water followed by a rush to get turned around to flush out the other end. God, I hate being sick.

At 8am the malemate called and made an appointment with the doc. They got me in at 9:15. He gave me a shot to stop the nausea and make me drowsy. Off we went to get the diarrhea script filled.

The malemate felt really good this morning when he woke He was even planning on going to the gym before he realized he needed to tend to me.

It looks like it may just be a 24 or 48 hour thing. I'm already feeling better after the injection, meds, ice chips, room temp 7-up and best of all hydrocodeine :) Of course I'm scared to eat anything, but hey, that might be a good thing too.
As of this moment, the trip is still on unless my dad doesn't want to take the chance of catching this crud. Then, we'll just have to do it another time. I'm confident that things will be moving along as planned for tomorrow morning.

is that crap contagious?

Upon my awakening to a another Sunday morning, the malemate tells me he will not be going to do the volunteer work that morning because he's been in the bathroom most of the night puking and pooping! I felt a panic coming on and instead of my morning cup of java - I did a healthy dose of xanax.

The panic had nothing to do with him being sick, spending most of his day in the bathroom and possibly dehydrating to death, it had to do with ME and and my dad and the fact that we are to leave from Omaha on Thursday and the malemate better damn well not give that crud to ME and fuck up MY trip! He went to the doc this morning, and sure enough, the pukingshits are contagious. So, I'm calling on prayers that he simply keeps it to himself!
The good news is the doc thought that I probably would have gotten it by now if I were going to get it. Just the same, say the damn prayers -- I need 'em!

On another note, I've been making a different kind of rag rug lately. It's called naalbinding or toothbrush rugs. It's easier than shirret, and looks good in a lighter weight fabric. There's some very good instructional videos on youtube by LauraJane for making a variance of the method I use -- if you are interested:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGr-LiPboEY&feature=related

The most noticeable variances are that I only use one strip of thread except when I begin a new oval rug -- which I begin by braiding a strip about 12" long. The other main variance is I cut my fabric on the bias because I can't stand all the little fiber dusts that are created when the fabric is torn with the grain. I also use the slit and slip method to join the fabric rather than sewing them together.

Here's one that is made of "reclaimed" denim jeans/dresses and a part of a sheet, shirt, tablecloth, etc. Whatever scraps of fabric that caught my eye at the moment.




Well, if all goes well ... and I mean WELL, as in BE WELL, I'll be leaving here on Wednesday for Iowa then to the air on Thursday afternoon to arrive in Anchorage around 8pm.
Yeah me!
Happy is me!
WELL is me!
Let's keep it that way, ya hear?

to me from me ... with like

I walk in the mornings - if not on the treadmill then around the 'hood' which often ends up at Walmart.
This morning the walk did take me to Walmart, so I strolled around the store and landed in the electronics department.

I looked around at the telephones, the laptops, the cameras and then to the mp3 players. Well, wouldn't ya know, they just happened to have a nice little 2 gb Creative Zen V Plus on clearance for $48. I just had to have it because after all, it had a lime green button.

I have never ever played around with one of these things as I seldom listen to music, except when I walk and then I have a little fm radio that I listen to so that I can catch the latest news on what towns got blown away the night before by the killer tornadoes.

I get it home and RTFM. I get the software installed and start to add some songs to it. I add a few, then a few more and I realized that it can hold a BUNCH. So, I started adding entire CDs to it and it still has only taken up 250mb!

I called the OK! cousin and told her that I treated myself. And she informs me that I can go te the library and get the books on CD and rip those and play them on this thing! I think I peed a little.

Tomorrow I'm off to the library to get signed up and then I'll be searching for some James Patterson, John Sanford, Patricia Cornwell on CD.
The flight to Alaska just got a little more pleasant.

10 days to unbaked alaska

The countdown begins. I'm so excited and more importantly my 84-year-old dad is really excited. I think we've covered everything health-wise for him to be able to fly comfortably -- manOman I sure hope so.

And Peg is so excited. I just know this trip is going to be fabulous. She's getting things lined up for us to do and I think she's even going to have a project or two for the 2 of us to do. Peg and I can really work well together and we're both project people.
DAMNIT I wish we lived closer to each other. I love her so much and love being around her. Maybe someday.
But for now, I'll settle for the the 9 splendid days with her ...
... and my dad.

m-i-c-k-e-y's

The few that read this blog are probably not old enough to remember Falstaff beer. The bottled Falstaff had riddles printed on the inside of the bottle cap. It was probably the only reason to drink Falstaff.


I recently discovered that Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor also has riddles in the bottle caps.

I'm going get riddled tonight.

what is the 1st thing you'd buy if ...

you won the lottery.

I got a letter in the mail about a week ago informing me that I was being contacted regarding $2.1M.
I decided to give it a call because - how the hell did they find me?

Well, the gal started with the dreaming/feeling sales tactic by asking the question:
"what is the first thing you will buy with the $2.1M?"

My response: "a hotHotHOT pink car; not because I like the color hot pink but because my malemate will never drive a hotHotHOT pink car. It will be alllllllll mine and I will never have to adjust the mirror or seat ever again."

After an actual real laugh from the gal on the other end and her unsuccessful sales pitch, she informed me that I had not won yet, but ...

she was in the process of transferring me to her supervisor when I disconnected.

I really would like the hotHotHOT pink car though for the same reason. It's a damn shame that I let that stranger get my hopes up like that.
I was that |-| close. damn!

let 'r blow

Apparently my town was hit by a killer tornado yesterday late afternoon, a tornado that caused several fatalities. I stood outside for quite awhile and watched the maniac skies gather up their power, but I didn't see a tornado form. Apparently it formed a few miles north of our house. The malemate and I will be heading to Joplin this morning which will take us close to the area that was hit.

The malemate and I volunteer at the Salvation Army on Sunday mornings. We have been doing this every Sunday that we are in town for about 2 years. I admit, I really look forward to those few hours on Sunday mornings. I get to do a bunch of cooking and I don't do ANY cleanup.

This morning it will probably be a madhouse as the Salvation Army in Joplin provides all the food when temporary shelters are set up in the area. I'm guessing there are several temporary shelters set up in Picher, OK and Neosho, MO.

Admission of guilt: As I watched the angry skies, I prayed that it would keep moving north and not affect me. Yeh, bitchRme -- just cuz I have no life here, doesn't mean I want it taken or damaged!

Lastly, Happy Mother's Day to all of you women that had the courage to be somebody's mom.

beware! the pope is here

As we watched the news of the pope's arrival to the U.S.A., the announcer stated that his age was either 81 or 82.

The malemate asks: Why is it that they always put such an old man in that position?

I could only respond with the obvious: Because at that age they probably think they are too old to be able to diddle the little boys anymore.

a-las-ka

When my Dad retired, he had every intention of the two of them doing a lot of traveling around the country.

In 1996, along with another couple, they made a leisurely trip from Iowa to Utah to California and then back home. For reasons unbeknownst to me, Mom was not so much into making anymore trips.

Today Dad called and after a short conversation he says, "Would you like to go to Alaska?"

Now, had he asked me about any other place, I would have had to think about it, but Alaska?

I don't think he even had the third sylable out when I responded with a yesYesYES!

He told me to make the arrangements and he and I would make a trip up there this summer. I don't think I have been on a vacation with my Dad since I was 12. This should be a hoot. I can't wait to tell cousin Peggy!

-1+1=0

As I mentioned previously, my mom and I had differences. One of those differences being politics. She was a democrat and me ... not a democrat.

So, during the funeral arrangement days and between the bursts of tears, there were also jolts of humor. I said to the malemate, "Well, that will be one less democratic vote this election year." We chuckled.

The next morning the malemate and my two brothers took a li'l road trip to visit one of the relatives. They were gone for most of the day. When they got back the malemate pulled me aside and said, "Remember the comment about one less democratic vote?"
I nodded yes.
He said, "Well, you can cancel that because your younger brother jumped the fence since we last saw him!"

B-R-A-T!!!

thunderation

A huge thunderstorm just passed through. It brought quarter size hail with it.

I love a hearty thunderboomer ...

... until it takes my internet out. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

thanks for birthing me Mom

Towards the end of my mom's life, she didn't have much to look forward to except for a smoke now and then, a whiskey water now and then and her weekend date with dad, where he would pick her up and bring her home for the day.

During this last bout, she didn't even get to have any of those things. Dad could no longer take her home for a day, she could no longer go out for a smoke and the whiskey had become an absolute no-no due to the inability to stabilze her sugar.

Before the viewing on Sunday, March 16, 2008, I told Dad I was going to put a bottle of whiskey and a pack of cigarettes in the casket with her. He really liked the idea of that. I was pleased.

So that afternoon, when the family was at the viewing and after I had delivered the "goods" to mom, I was sitting by Dad and he said, "I would just love to have one more drink with her, just one more."
I looked at him and said, "that is do-able Dad."
I gathered up my two brothers and the four of us went up to Mom, and I reached in and took out the bottle of whiskey that I had tucked inside the casket moments earlier and handed it to Dad. He openend it, touched her hand with the bottle, in a toasting gesture, and took a swig. He then handed it to my older brother, who said a few toasting words and took a swig, then handed it to my younger brother who did the same and then it was handed to me and I followed suit. The cap was placed back on the bottle and tucked back into place with her.

She loved a snowy day. The day of the funeral, when the church service was over and the doors opened, to place her in the hearse, it was snowing. She got a beautiful heavy, wind-free snow during the entire time we were at the cemetary. It stopped when we all arrived back to town. The power of spirits, huh?

After the burial, we went back to the house. We were joined by the grandkids, great granddaughter, more family and friends. The younger brother put on the DVDs that Dad has been making over the past few years of the old still photos and the old home movies. I think there were 15-20 of us gathered around watching these DVDs. There was much warm chatter going on while viewing the captured memories and we all laughed hard while watching these. I was so glad I got to enjoy them with both my brothers at the same time.
What a neat gift my Dad has made for us.

it'll be alright

That's the phrase that was placed on Mom's headstone. it's the phrase she said repeatedly whenever anyone asked her how she was doing whilst coping with her diseases. She never ever complained.

She left us silently. Her sisters and brother, grandkids and great grandkids were all able to make it in time to see her before she passed. My younger brother didn't.

He had pretty much abandoned the family for the past 8 years. He even cut off communications with me for a long spell. I left him a message on his cell phone the weekend prior to her death regarding the urgency of the situation, but still no response. I told my older brother and my aunt, if we could just get his voice to her ear I am certain she will let go, as I know she is waiting for him.

While the malemate and I were en route back up there, he finally called Dad and Dad and my older brother arranged for a phone call to her room. She was non-responsive by that time, but they put the phone to her ear and the younger brother told her many loving things. Dad said she raised an eyebrow when she heard his voice. An hour later, on March 13, 2008, she left us for the hereafter.

She and I had a lot of differences, but I did love and respect her. Not everyone can be a wife for 61 years to the same person, or a mother to three brats. She did them both and she did them quite well.

She will be missed by many.

I will be writing a little more about this later as there was some really touching things that occurred over the past week that I want to document for myself, but not today.

home and back

I took a trip to Iowa this past weekend to check in on the parent situation. I am really glad I did. Mom is a tough ol' bird, but I think it will take more than that this time around. Dad is doing various strange things to cope. But, I did spend some good alone time with each of them and had some hearty laughs.

Going home is always interesting. I have been away from there since the early 70's ‑‑ yet, I still call it home. Then when I see how Dad is dealing with his life, I think I should really live closer. I just can't bring myself to want to be in that town though. All they do for entertainment is drinkDrinkDRINK. As we all know, I too enjoy my drink now and then ‑‑ but I really want more than alcohol.

So, I happened upon one of my old lovers when I was there. We acknowledged each other ‑ not much more. Of course my first thought upon seeing him again was of that night. I wonder if that was his too. My second thought was, I'm so glad that relationship never evolved into anything. I'm guessing he is too

I can't think of a title for this

It's been a little different around here lately. Meloncoly I s'pose you could say.
My mom was placed on hospice a week ago. I'll be making the trip up there later this week while she is still somewhat lucid.
For those of you that don't know, the guidelines for Medicare to foot the bill of hospice, the diagnosis has to be 6 months or less to live.
I asked my dad if he understood what hospice means? He wasn't clear. I told him it means terminal, but I didn't tell about the 6 month thing.
I told him that they will not be giving her any more chemotherapy. He said, "well, we have 2 appointments this year, one in July and one in December. It's on the calendar here."

Denial. It's natural. After all, she's been his only love for over 61 years.
God bless him.
And please God, is it really necessary for her to suffer even more? You sure seem cruel and unloving at times.

Oklahoma! not the musical

I was in OK over the weekend. The OK! cousins and their friends needed some more people to win money from - and that is where the malemate and I came in.

Pecan trees are indigenous to OK and since the OK! cousins live on an acreage, there is much access to pecans. One afternoon I took the ATV and went out and picked up a bucket full. They were not that big this year, so getting a quart of meats will take awhile.

Whilst in OK, we took a drive around a 'hood' in Shawnee. It had mostly all brick homes. I'm thinking I will be readying this house for sale before the end of the year and yet another move will be occurring ... to OK ... to the mouth of tornado ally.

And speaking of blowjobs - doesn't that suck that the damn conservative masquerader McCain got the majority of the republican vote in the primary?
He better be careful with his arrogance regarding the republican vote.

crossing my fingers

It's Friday and I am excited.

I have been getting shit for work since before Christmas. I have been assured by LLS that all is well and that it is just a slow time for the ICs. So, I've been patient with all this, but I started to watch the various opportunities on the MT sites. I found one yesterday that may just be the one. It would fill in nicely with what I have going with LLS.
crossing my fingers

We have some people coming over on Sunday afternoon for cocktails, munchies and gambling. I think it will be some poker and some LCR (my personal favorite). I am not too hip on the entertaining thing, but I think they are low-maintenance and maybe will want to lose some $$$ to me :^)
crossing my fingers

I think the monthly tag sale at the airport is this weekend. I will be heading out there as soon as the malemate gets back from the gym. Maybe I'll find some unbelievable bargains.
crossing my fingers

I finished the rug. I am so disappointed and unhappy with it. I had a mohair wool blanket that I had to use so that I could get rid of it - because I simply cannot and will not throw away wool! Well, it was a bit too thick to work with.



It's called roses are not red.
But, I started two new ones, in colors I am happy about. I am hoping they will turn out to be a matched set to use in the living room. It's a matter of having enough fabric to complete 2 rugs.
crossing my fingers

It's the weekend and it's supposed to be up to 60 degrees on Sunday.
crossing my fingers

life in the blah lane

This week I cried. Emotions came crashing down when I realized how much I hate being away from good friends. I have never referred to the malemate as my best friend. I have loved him, but he has never been a best friend. I don't share any in depth things with him anymore. I have no desire to, because early in the relationship, I realized he does not give it back.

In depth shares are a tit for tat thing for me. It's a trust builder. I'll gladly reveal, but I would hope that you trust me enough to also feel safe enough to do the same. I don't have that kind of feeling with him -- and obviously he does not with me either, as he has given up so very little over the years.

I just miss having a good friend within 10-15 minutes away. I am guilty of not orchestrating anything to change that in this town, which is really kind of strange for me. Making new acquaintances, some of them which turned to best friends, has never been that hard for me. I think it's because I have been 'out there' and open. None of that is true any more. I'm caged within my own anger. I wonder what will change that and when/if it will change.
I sure hope I'm not too old when it does.


I went and saw the movie "the bucket list".
I laughed.
I cried.
I was entertained.
I would rate it 8.5 out of 10

to me from me

After switching to the Dvorak method of typing, I treated myself to a Typematrix 2030 Dvorak keyboard. Then about a year later, I decided I should probably have another as backup. I called the company only to be told that they did not have any of the Dvorak keyboards in stock and did not know when they would be. They suggested I order a different one. Since I did not have much choice, I did just that. It's now about a year later after ordering the 2nd keyboard and I really want another one like my first. I emailed the company again whining about them not having the Dvorak nor did they even have the qwerty 2030s available any longer and how desperate I was to get another one. I even asked if they were going out of business as I have watched as their inventory depleted on the website.

Surprise, I received a response within minutes. NO! they are not going out of business! They placed an order over 20 months ago and still have not received the shipment as they are a 'little fish in a big sea'. However, she was in the warehouse last week and found a couple of the Dvoraks that she could sell .

The invoice was included in the email, the order was placed and only the waiting is left. Happy is me.

God, I want a cigarette.

The 70plus-year-old neighbor received a computer from her son for Christmas. It has the dreaded Vista on it. She called today and asked if I could take a looksee as she was having issues with it. I have never played with Vista, so we clicked, tapped and moused our way through a couple of the issues.

Poor ol' gal made the jump to Vista from Windows 98.
I think she wanted a cigarette too.
I want a Macintosh.

rugging me

I finally started a rug! I kept telling myself that I would get started on one when the weather turned cold -- because after all, wool is just too hot to work with in the summer.

Well, the cool weather started and it got colder and colder and I kept buying more and more wool coats, blankets, etc. at the thrift stores and storing it all away in bins in the garage, and still I did not start a rug.

So, here I am with a garage full of plastic bins which are full of wool and mothballs, thinking I should probably buy more bins because I am running out of space in the bins that I have to put my wool bargains, which I will be making rugs out of and absolutely no plan to actually start one.

The realization set in, once again, that simply put, I am addicted to a bargain - doesn't matter what it is -- if it's a good deal, I want it.

Oh, and before I forget, happy new year and happy blogging anniversary Jock. I thought about you on the 31st, but I was too busy bowling for bux to stop by your blog and acknowledge it.
Maybe I should go do that now.