my bucket has a hole in it

grammy gaga

2011-11-08T07:11:00.009-06:00

manOman loooooooooooong time no see, eh?
i think many of the old gang has lost interest in this blogging thing - or maybe it is just me. i really have nothing much to put out there other than it seems most of my spare time is spent on ecig (vaping) forums these days.
yep, still vaping since february 5, 2011, with a slip of two cigs in august. yeh, the first cigarette tasted so shitty that night, whilst scotch-sated, that i had another.

dumbRme.

on another note, the malemate and i were invited to a couple halloween parties this year. good times at both. unfortunately, very few of my pics turned out, so i was dependent on others, in hopes they would post some to facebook ... which sucks.

the 'geriatrics halloween party' was a private party and entailed doing projects that we can expect to do when we go to 'the home'. it was funny and very entertaining - although my costume was rather dull. the malemate, however, was the bearded lady godiva.

the other one we were invited to was at the local bowling alley (of course). i went as grammy gaga and the malemate went as great grammy gaga.

there was a guy dressed as a dick. he made for a great photo op prop :-)

and that is about all i have for now.

btw, the joplin tornado was 20 miles from us and we had no damage. as sad as it is, it is the price one may have to pay for being in tornado alley.

i hope y'all are well!

huff and puff and blow your house down

2011-05-12T13:26:00.000-05:00

first off ...
what the hell is blogspot doing by asking me to add my phone number to my account right after i log in?
is this so they can pass it on to the president for his "alert" texts?

yeh, we all know they will get it sooner or later.
i was hoping it would be after i was on 'the other side.'
sometimes technology moves too friggin fast.

moving on ...

i live in/near the line often referred to as tornado alley.
some days i wonder what it would be like to have all this blown to bits by some massive tornado.
because then i would be forced to find a new place to live.

however, today is not one of those days.

pv mod humor

2011-05-09T22:34:00.000-05:00

in the vaping world, ecigs are called pv's - personal vaporizers

most of the people that have a pv will modify it in some way to accommodate/personalize it to their preference.
personal vaporizer modified

so the ecig then becomes the pv mod - but more often, it is just referred to as a mod.

this particular reviewer is quite well known in the pv world - but this 'review' is his extreme. funny stuff.

and so it goes ...

2011-04-28T21:27:00.000-05:00

the relationship with the malemate is tepid at best. on the way home from OK this past weekend, he said, "maybe we should think about getting a divorce. we'll put the house on the market and split everything up."
believe it or not, i stayed silent.
so, on tuesday, as i was scouring the net to try to find some work, i kept one ear to the other room, listening for him to call a real estate agent. it didn't happen.
wednesday, it didn't happen.
today, it didn't happen.
maybe he changed his mind ... this time.
it concerns me.
what will be, will be... no doubt.

i do think about "the guy" every day.
stop it!
butButBUT i just received the latest brochure for overnights at the casino for the month of may.
stop it!
i wonder if i should book a room and text him.
stop it!

i think i need a timeout.
can i get that timeout with a scotch and a gorilla juice vape?
oh and a mind-thump chaser please.

high gas price due to a gassy mouthed muslim

2011-04-27T08:43:00.000-05:00

i hope no one is wondering why the price of gas is so high.

this lying progressive man-child we have in the white house put a moratorium on drilling in the gulf a few months back. surely people don't have such selective memories to have forgotten that.

how that half-white fool can say he is for the 'little guy' and actually have people believe it is beyond me.

i need some mental magic

2011-04-20T14:29:00.001-05:00

i went mushroom hunting/picking yesterday. i didn't get picked up until 4:30pm. to say i was about bouncing off the walls from anxiety most of the day would not be far from the truth.

however, today is a completely different story. i woke about 1:30am, got up, and got on the net, and have pretty much been there ever since. it is now 2:00pm. i have not even dressed and have no plan to do so at this point. why bother?

i think i may have lost my friends shar and the cap'n. she and i had a chat the other day regarding an absolute insane decision they are making. i told her that the 'bubbas' that they have hired, are basically gypsy's and sooner or later they will take over their lives. and will use that new 'grandbaby wanna-be' as their 'in'. it was probably uncalled for, but if you knew the entire ordeal/situation, and the fact that i am pretty acute when it comes to reading people, it would all make sense.

the malemate and i will be going to the OK! cousins for the weekend. i generally look forward to that - but not so much this time. i keep wondering if i should tell him about the 'stranger' if that would move me past all of this shit that i continue to bury myself in.

i bet that when i snap my fingers, i will magically come out of this funk.

snap!

Snap!

SNAP!

...

crackle?

pop?

okay, i have got to get serious about finding some work. this is ridiculous.

any excuse works, right?

2011-04-15T08:40:00.006-05:00

i had a dream last night that included both my mom and dad. it was an extremely short dream.
mom looked absolutely radiant!
dad looked sad.
mom was walking with another man, someone i didn't know. she did not introduce me.
dad didn't stay around long. he walked away when mom came up to me.
i always wonder what prompts dreams - as i seldom remember dreams as sleep really is not my friend without some sort of medication.
i have disappointed myself. perhaps that is why they came to me. i have been giving myself a mental beating since 04/06/2011.

i met shar and the cap'n at the casino for an overnight. shar, another friend, and i were at the bar, drinking double scotchies. which in itself is odd, as i seldom drink when i go the casinos. i guess i just wanted to fade my brain for a bit ... to stop the thoughts for a few hours.

shar and i proceeded to do our 'catching up' chit chat, gamble a bit, and and drink. we ordered another and a guy at the end of the bar said something about the scotch. we were surprised, as we seldom run into others that indulge in scotch.
conversation ensued. the guy came over and sat by me and the chat turned subtly flirty.

ever since i have been married to the malemate (going on 19 years total), and in real life, i have always physically removed myself when conversation turns this direction, not wanting to encourage anything.
i was very much attracted to the guy, not sexually so much, but to the personality/aura, and for some reason, i couldn't walk away like i have always done. what was it about him?
he and i left the bar and headed upstairs.
i don't even know what to type about what did or did not happen from that point, but it was interesting/curious.
i left his room.
he had given me his card. daring doncha think since he too is married? ... for what? 27? years. he lives 1.5 hours from me.
damn him for slipping into my already fucked-down life.

can i use the events of the past few weeks as an excuse for my behavior?
i think i am adult enough to answer that with an absolute no.

loveyoubunches byebye

2011-04-02T05:06:00.010-05:00

no question - it has been a helluva week this past week.

i got a call on 3/23/2011 - my dad was going to be taken to the hospital. the antibiotics were not working and it was time for intravenous antibiotics.

on 3/24/2011 my brother calls and said they tell him he has a heart valve problem and should a pacemaker be placed? dad never lived on his own again after the last surgery due to problems with the anesthesia - this information i relayed on to terry - terry relayed it on to the surgeon. the surgeon then suggests hospice. terry tells dad the grim situation. dad asks, "do i have today?" terry says, "yes, you have today." dad asks, "do i have tomorrow?" terry says, "you might have tomorrow." silence. they move him back to the nursing home.

on 3/25/2011 we get on the road at 4:30am - an 8 hour drive. around 9am i get a call from the nursing home stating that dad is non-responsive and his heart rate is between 40-50 bpm. i ask her, "we are about 1/2 way there, will he wait for me?"
she says he will wait. i text my nieces with the update. 5 minutes later my one niece texts back that she is there with dad. at this point it is just selfish to expect him to wait another 3-4 hours for me to get there and i know he does not want me to see him at his weakest physical point.

i call my niece and tell her to put the phone to dad's ear. i tell him some personal things, and then ask him not to wait for me. if he is ready to be with god and mom, then please let go.
then "loveyoubunches byebye" which is my closing phrase for dad, and then i hang up.

2 minutes later my niece calls back - "he heard you! he is gone."

r.i.p. dad - you are the only man that has ever loved me my entire life.

funeral arrangements are made - all 3 of us kids are there. my brothers treat me like a fucking dog during the whole time there. i make a memorial dvd. it turns out wonderful - and it was finished in time for the viewing on 3/28/2011. funeral is on 3/29/2011 - the malamate and i leave before the luncheon is even over with - i am tired of being treated like a second rate citizen by my brothers. i am out of there. back on the road.

we are halfway home and my gut hurts so bad that we have to stop so i can get some antacid. back on the road. an hour later i am throwing up everything. the pain continues. the entire trip home. we arrive home about 9:30. i try tums and lie down. no comfort. i get up and continue to throw up. i tell the malemate he needs to take me to the hospital. i get admitted about 3:30 3/30/2011. the pain is excruciating and i am given dilaudid via iv with a protonix chaser. again i throw up. the dilaudid finally relieves much of the pain.

testing starts the next day; blood tests; ultrasound; 3/30/2011 the hepatobilliary function test. 3/31/2011 doc reports all testing is normal. one more test, the egd.
4/1/2011 i am still in the hospital and feeling great - no pain, no pain meds for over 24 hours. the egd is performed around 6:30 - results come back normal. i ask the doc if all of this could be stress related? he responds with, "a good possibility." they release me.

i get home and start catching up on email just to read that my typing account has been taken over by the fucking electronic medical record - yeh, fuck you obama!

so, to summarize, my dad is gone, i have now spent overnite time in a hospital (first time in my life) with inconclusive results, and i no longer have any work.

there must be a message in there somewhere.

not so hot springs

2011-03-14T19:24:00.005-05:00

tomorrow the malemate and i are taking a li'l trip to hot springs, arkansas. his 2 younger brothers are twins and they are going to be meeting up there and asked if we would come also.

i've been to hot springs one other time. we were there with the ok! cousins and had a really good time. we did the tourist stuff and as always, just enjoyed being with them.

this should be interesting this time (and i can only hope it will be FUN), as his one brother AND his wife are both ministers and the other one and his wife are both very much into their organized religion.

well, i'm just not sure what the entertainment is going to be - as we all know, i drink, gamble, and now vape (as opposed to smoke).
i'm guessing a sports bar for happy hour is out of the question.
the horse track (if they are running) is probably off limits.
doing the bath houses where, yes, you have to get naked to enjoy the natural hot springs, is probably on the no-no list.

i'm bringing a deck of cards along and maybe we can play some "oh hell" which we always play for a $1.00 a game.

i wonder if they would consider $1.00 for 17 hands as gambling?
obviously, we only play for fun, but it does cost a dollar per game -- not per hand.

oh, for crissakes, even jesus took a gamble on me ... oh and btw, god, thank you!

one addiction for another

2011-03-03T17:43:00.004-06:00

it's been almost a month since i started the e-cig. during that time i have smoked maybe 4 analogs and am REALLY loving vaping.

i'm kinda torn on this though, because i am a die-hard gadget person, and vaping with all its paraphernalia is a gadget persons dream.

because of this, in less than a month, i have spent close to $500 on the e-cigs, juices, batteries, chargers, drip tips, atomizers, etc.

of course i can justify this!

when one starts smoking, one tries different brands, lengths, lighters, etc. to try to find the one that is just right.

well, that's what i am doing. i'm trying to find the model and flavor that is just right for me.
just today, i ordered one of these:

a phidias pv -- pv acronym for personal vaporizer - made by a craftsman right here in the USA.

it is going to be made of california pepper? wood and i cannot wait to get it.
of course it does not come with the special batteries, or the charger for those batteries, so i had to order them too. and of course it is going to take more e-juice, so that will be on my order for tomorrow.

at first i was feeling kinda guilty - but when the malemate came home last night after bowling and told me how much he spends EACH week on bowling, well, lets just say i could not WAIT til morning to get on this puter to get my orders placed.

let's give this a try

2011-02-15T18:39:00.006-06:00

i have been tobacco free since 02/05/11. this is certainly not the first time i have stopped.
it seems i find a way a to use an event/disappointment/riding in the car with the malemate as an excuse to start up again.

however, i think i found something that just may work for me. i discovered the e-cigs. i had heard about them, but never knew anyone in r/l that used them.

i bought a disposable one in the local smoke shop and right away, it felt that i could use this as replacement. they had 3 different kits in the smoke shop, but for some reason, i just did not have a good feeling about them. so i started researching them.

this opened up an entire world that i knew nothing about. i was pleasantly surprised. at all the people that are using these and all the options.

for days, i read many forums, reviews, and watched oodles of opinions/reviews on youtube. the more i researched, the more overwhelmed and undecided i became.

the terminology itself was throwing me off - but i kept at it. it came to the point that i had 10-12 tabs open in firefox, each with a different vendor/product. finally i just pulled the trigger on one - the vapor4life starter kit. the next morning i got up and looked at it again, and researched some more, and realized that i am not going to be happy with that one. but it was too late. oh well, not the first time i have thrown away money -- and i am happy with my selections on the battery and l.e.d. - copper with a purple l.e.d. on the end - so who knows, maybe it will be okay.

so today i am impatiently waiting for it to arrive - and still continuing to read up on these things and watch even more reviews, and looking at other brands when i realize, i really don't want my new e-cig to be the shape of a cigarette - i really like the looks of the larger size ones and i really like the look of the mako midi but after further reading, it looked like it was a bit of a pain in the ass. so, i decided to click off it.

i ended up ordering the joye ego - in white ... naturally.
however, i did order some 'extras' to 'junque-i-fy' it to my taste, and i ordered a bunch of flavors and strengths. it will be interesting if i can actually kick the tobacco habit (or as the vapers call it - the analog habit) once and for all.

probably about the time i get really attached to these, the fucking government will ban them entirely -- and yet they refuse to ban cigarettes ???
i guess they haven't figured out a way to get all that tax money from the e-cigs like they get from the analogs.

by the next time i post, i will have received at least one of the kits and will be vaping away.

well hello 56

2011-02-03T05:20:00.004-06:00

yesterday i turned 56. i was pissed on tuesday nite before going to bed - i hated it that it was the last day that i would be 55. i rather liked that double nickel age. but 56? well, it even sounds boring.

on my last night of being 55, we were slammed with 20" of snow, so when i arose on the first day of my 56th year, the world was covered in white. first off, i was bit torn with this, cuz i do hate the snow, but on the other hand, any shade of white is my favorite color - but definitely HATE the snow.

i downed a couple cups of very strong coffee, donned my jeans, sweater, down vest, coat, ear covers, gloves, and uggs and off to start the digging out in 1-degree temps. not long after, the malemate joined me and we managed to get it half done. we went in, thawed out for a couple hours, and then went back out and finished the drive.
it was tiring. cold. and i was in a pouty pissed off mood.

i came into the puter room to check on work only to find that i was having network problems. i isolated it to the router. i got on the phone with linksys. the foreigner is doing her 20 questions that have nothing to do with the hardware. finally she comes back and says i see that your 90-day free phone support has expired - and before she had a chance - i just said, "i guess we are done talking then." click.

pay for support or go buy another router? well, buying another router is by far the cheaper option plus i would get the free phone support for another 90 days.

by this time, i am really getting pissed off about what a crappyCrappyCRAPPY birthday this is.

i tell the malemate that i am going to walk to walmart to get a new router. he said he would go with, but that we should be okay taking the suv. so, for the third time, we bundled up in the layers of clothing, opened the garage door, got in the suv, started up, backed down the now cleaned off driveway, straight into the 20" deep snow of the street and, OF COURSE, we got stuck.

again, we grab the shovels and proceed to dig the suv out. got it dug out and pulled it right back in the garage.
clearly, i am not going anywhere on my day.
i stomped back in the house.

i went back to the office and started messing with the router settings once again.
finally, i just did a reboot on it - and miraculously, everything came back up - EVERYTHING - even my blackberry - which had NEVER connected to the router!

okay, so now i'm in a little better spirits.

then the malemate calls out that lunch is ready. he had made us his GREAT bacon burgers.

by now i'm starting to actually feel happy.

later, after i had showered and was winding down and had settled on the couch with a scotchie in hand, the malemate sits down on the other end - he grabs the lotion and tells me to give him my feet - he said, "afterall, it is your birthday and you should have a foot massage."
why yes indeed!

okay, at the end of that, i was feeling loved AND happy.
it ended up being a very good start to the 56th year.

thanks hank

2011-01-19T20:39:00.002-06:00

i have not played golf since 1998? 1999? i sucked at the game, but i lovedLovedLOVED to hate it.

the reason i had to quit? because i developed an allergy to something on the fairway that broke the blood vessels in my lower legs. unfortunately, it ended up completely staining my lower limbs and what once were nice looking legs and ankles, now look like a botched tatoo job.

however, i do listen to rush limbaugh on the weekdays and he announced that he was going to be hank haney's next project.

i had to dvr this. why? because i wanted to see rush's before and after swing.

i have to say, my swing looked alot better than rush's did on the first episode. but, it was clear that by the second episode, he had learned much, even though it did not come across that he felt he had.

anyway, when i played, i would use the putter when i was on the outside of the green. the malemate and others i played with used to tell me to chip it in. but, the putter was my club of choice. i think i embarrassed the malemate by doing this.

as i watched the second episode of the haney project, hank told rush to use the putter to bring it onto the green.

i about jumped out of the chair whooping and yelling yesYesYES!

thanks hank! that felt soSoSO good!
i feel vindicated.

saying goodbye to once were perfectly good knees

2011-01-18T16:13:00.003-06:00

i'm a bit of a walker. i take great pleasure in it. however, i am a fair-weather walker so when the temps start dropping i drag the treadmill out of hibernation and use that.

the other day after finishing on the treadmill, i had pain in one of my knees.
this is not good.
after about 5 hours the pain was all gone.
the next morning i rolled out the treadmill and did the chore - while watching dvr'd tv show
... wait for it ...

the millionaire matchmaker

yeh, not sure how i got started on that one. i think it was because i was trying really hard to avoid watching 'hoarders', which i secretly wanted to watch, and which i am now dvr-ing also.

okay, enough of a few of my treading/tv viewing choices.

anyway, the knee thing is a problem so i have to decide what to do about it.

i'm thinking an elliptical - but space is a huge issue - and from what i have read, the fold up ones give up quality to save on footprint.

so, i thought maybe a recumbent bike or maybe an upright/air bike.

what to do, what to do.

i just don't think i have it in me to 'stick' with any of the above choices like i have the treadmill.

and yet another phone

2011-01-11T06:26:00.002-06:00

i've had the iphone for a few months now and i'm not as fond of it as i thought i would be. sooooo, the search is still on for the perfect cell phone.

i bought a blackberry off craigslist the other day. right off the bat, i was pleased with the size and weight of it compared to the iphone. it just seems to feel better in my hand. i also kinda like the idea of buttons as opposed complete touchscreen.

however, i must make a mental note to myself to always clear history before selling a phone.

apparently the gal i bought it from is not very techno-savvy as she and someone had real good time with the texting function.
this phone had so much sexting on it, i thought i was going to have dig out bob!

sure glad i did the alcohol rubdown before getting into the nitty-gritty of it.

2011 resolutions a girl can live with

2011-01-03T10:14:00.007-06:00

the ok! cousins came to town for the new year celebration.

on january 1, 2011, j and i were lounging in jammies all day as the guys had a pool tournament to attend to.

around 5 in the afternoon, she proudly announced her new years resolutions:

1. drink more alcohol
2. gain more weight
3. exercise less
4. smoke more

after this she noted: "i NEVER keep my new year's resolutions."

i like the way she thinks.

me and j of the ok! cousins on nye 2010

as the year comes to an end ...

2010-12-17T06:37:00.003-06:00

i was working away on wednesday night and the phone rings showing the caller id to be a mutual acquaintance of the cap'n and shar. i knew before answering that it was not going to be good - as the main reason we exchanged phone numbers was 'in case of emergency.'

he asks if i have heard from shar - i told him i left a voicemail tuesday, but had not heard back. i asked if the cap'n may have had appointments or maybe they were gambling. he drops the bomb that no, none of that because he just left there around 2:10 in the afternoon and then around 4:30 he got a call from the cleaning lady something about the cap'n and shar's house burned down!

robert also wants to confirm shar's cell phone number - which he had correct. he then says he is unable to get an answer on it.

the cold chill and internal shaking begins.

i told him i have a couple other numbers of friends over there that may have some info and as soon as i know anything, i'd call him back.

my first call to a friend went to voicemail. the second call i got an answer and received the news that yes indeed, their house did burn, but ...

the cap'n, shar, and the two dogs are safe.

let the rebuilding begin.

syn "incense"

2010-12-07T07:52:00.003-06:00

the malemate and i did a li'l shopping yesterday. i needed some screens and wanted a water pipe. we went to our local vendor and while inquiring about the pipes, another couple was discussing 'blends' at the other counter. i asked the clerk what they were talking about. she said it was the synthetic pot products - sold as incense.

needless to say, the malemate and i were very curious about this, as i had heard about it for the first time a bout a year ago, right before one type was banned (k12 ???) here in misery.and several other states. apparently, the manufacturers of this stuff have discovered that even without the 'banned' chemicals, the incense still gets ya high when ya smoke it.

this k2?? stuff is sold as an incense and specifically states that it is not for human consumption or smoking - but somewhere along the line, someone did smoke it and found that it can give a cannibis-like high.

we did the syn incense called "ripped" - and i can safely say that 3-4 tokes is waaaaaaay too much. we were laughing so hard that our innards hurt for quite awhile - which is always a good thing. but then, when we got quiet, the malemate thought he was dying - so that was not such a good thing. i'm thinking the malemate may not try it again.

i wondered where they found the test market for this discovery. then, after the malemate and i toked, it dawned on us ... OH SHIT! MAYBE WE ARE THE TEST BED!

unlike el natur'al pot, i have a slight sense of hangover with it. strange stuff, indeed.

this weekend we go to the OK! cuzins - i'm debating whether to take it along. the one cuzin is 73. hmmmmm, i think we will not open that door as he is a bit of a hypochondriac to start with. i can't imagine what a long, drawn-out, wah-wah weekend it may turn out to be if he gets a panic high.

here i come spoof!

2010-10-27T18:27:00.003-05:00

i finally got the phone jailbroken.

the first thing i did was head to cydia and search the 'spoof' app.

if it works correctly, i should be able to put any phone number as my caller i.d. to 'spoof' the recipient of my call into thinking it is someone else calling.

have i mentioned how much i despise women who play their kids against the other parent, and/or grandparents. well, the deceased son managed to impregnate just that type of insecure, manipulative, control-freak wench.

ever since the malemate got back from california in june, this wench has managed to only let him to talk to his grandson twice. we only have a cell number for her and she screens all messages, texts, and calls and so the malemate seldom gets to talk to his grandson.

i'm thinking the malemate may need to use the spoof app when he gets tired of her wrangling stunts.

last i knew, the wench had a pretty good relationship with the other grannie. i think i'll put the other grannie's phone number in when the time comes.

body language

2010-10-07T05:24:00.004-05:00

okay, i may be way off base on this one, but i watched that tiffany hartley on fox news the other day and i gotta say, i'm not getting the feeling that mexicans shot and killed her husband, david hartley.

her body language and her delivery tells me that she knows alot more about her husband's disappearance than she is telling.

the thrill is gone

2010-09-29T19:14:00.003-05:00

i was so excited about getting an iphone. i had already told myself i was going to jailbreak it, cuz i wanted access to non-itunes apps.

sooooo, just be on the safe side, i decided to back everything up (using itunes) just in case i did something wrong and lost all my contacts on the phone after the jailbreak.

i opened itunes, plugged in the phone and a message pops up that i should update my iphone to 4.1. well, i'm new to the iphone stuff and thought, 'oh yes, i most certainly should' and clicked the button. the update occurred.

so, here i am with a 3g 4.1 firmware iphone only to find out that there is no windows jailbreak software for that version of firmware - and that i never should have updated - and there is not a way to 'downgrade' the firmware.

so, i wait and wait for the iphonedev-team to develop the windows version of the jailbreak software.

damn, i wish i would've just stayed with the backflip with android software.

where is the mute button?

2010-09-23T14:22:00.002-05:00

i really do enjoy doing transcription - however, i think the docs and pa's get a bit bored with the dictation from time to time.

the office i was typing for today has all male surgeons and physician assistants in it. the newest pa is dictating away and stumbles on the diagnosis of 'degenerative disk disease" and one of the bored? surgeons is listening in. this is how it went:

pa: d-d-disk ... uh degenerative disk disease

surgeon: degenerative dick disease

pa: ahhhh you fucker [laughter] you bastard [laughter] you bastard [laughter] fucker

/methinks somebody needs to show the new guy where the mute button is on his dictation machine.

usps consumer affairs

2010-09-22T11:26:00.004-05:00

well yay for the usps consumer affairs! i had filed a complaint back in june regarding a package that i shipped to my dad. i had not heard anything back and assumed the complaint went into the trash.

this morning i get a call from a charles - usps consumer affairs - one level below the usps investigator. charles asked me about my complaint and i told him the details of it - how i had paid priority and tracking to ensure that the package would be delivered to my dad in the care center in a timely manner. the tracking showed it had been delivered, but every time i asked dad if he got it, for about it for 2-3 weeks, he said he never got it. keeping in mind that i had addressed it with the care center address and not dad's pobox.

finally, i called my brother - and sure enough, the post office took it upon themselves and delivered it to dad's pobox - even though that address was not even on the package. i was livid - to say the least. off to the computer i went to file a complaint.

charles of consumer affairs could not have been nicer, or more polite, or more humane. he listened to my vent and agreed that the post office was wrong. he assured me he would be calling the post master back and 'plant a bug' in his ear regarding his job when it comes to mail delivery.

about an hour later, i got another call back from charles. he stated that he had talked to the postmaster and that he is confident that it will not happen again. i told him that i may send a 'test' package - charles encouraged it and then gave me his personal number should i have any other problems.

we then went on to talk about books of all things! charles likes murder mysteries too and he lives in kansas city, and he served in the army in hawaii. oh yes, we had a very informative chat.

i think charles likes me :-)

they really break?

2010-09-19T07:35:00.003-05:00

i was having internet problems the other day - and of course it is never anything on my end. so, i call the provider and bitch&moan. the gal (who sounded USA born & raised btw - {{{shock}}} walked me through a few steps and it was clear she had about as much patience for me as i had for her. in the end, she called it - it was the router.

i didn't think many of these electronic things ever actually broke - one gets bored with them or they lose their purpose as new technology replaces older ones - but to actually break? well, unless it is a cell phone that gets dropped in the toilet or is taken for a dip in the river, or some other irresponsible act - but to break when it seldom ever gets touched? how does that happen?

i'm now on a linksys e3000. the hardest part of setting it up was plugging the power cord in - which is a behind the desk, pinned between the wall and desk, and on the floor - well, that and sitting and waiting for the software to install.

as you can see though, i am back in business! yay me!

why are they not being arrested?

2010-09-15T17:59:00.002-05:00

and this is why john mccain is a friggin piece of shit rino -

just how many sides of his mouth can he speak from?
and didn't he take an oath to uphold the constitution? and the laws of the land?
what an A_S_S_H_O_L_E

why don't they go back to their own fucking country instead of continuously trying to pull ours down to that level? if our country is pulled down to that level, there is no other country in the world to go to.

when i go to vegas next time ...

2010-09-14T16:09:00.003-05:00

... i'm going to make a side trip to see the gold and silver shop and maybe i'll even get to meet the "pawn stars."

i don't know why, but i do enjoy watching that show.

manOman wish i was better at gambling

2010-09-13T18:46:00.005-05:00

the cap'n and shar were at one of the local casinos this past weekend and since i had a free room, i went and spent the nite. it was great seeing the two of them again, as it always is. but that shar is a MUCH better gambler than me. she is able to stay with the poker machines until they start 'putting out.' (between you and me, i think she does something to them to scare the shit outta them.)

anyway, i get bored with the same thing after awhile, so i tend to mosey to the slots. this is clearly a danger zone for me i have found out.

when i was at that casino the last time, punching the buttons for 'mr. moneybags' a guy sat beside me and gave me a bit of an education on that type of machine. i tried to recall what he had told me about them during this trip. it actually worked for quite some time, and i had played it to the point where i recouped over 2/3 of what i had lost initially.

but then ...

i didn't cash out and walk away and everything i 'thought' i learned went out the window and everything i had recouped went right back into that machine ... ummm PLUS another $100.

it really pisses me off to like something that much and really SUCK at it.

needless to say, my reservation for next weekend is canceled.

hair versus whiskers

2010-09-11T11:42:00.002-05:00

I sure wish the hair on my head grew as fast as the whiskers on my chin.

i'm thinking about a career change -

bearded lady

joking or zinger?

2010-09-01T15:18:00.003-05:00

i'm typing away to one of the ortho surgeons and it is going along - blah blah blah - then the last paragraph the dictator says:

"Thank you again Richard, for allowing me to care for your patient. And, by the way, it is time for you to come back here and teach our residents here. We enjoyed teaching you during your training so well that we would love it if you would teach our brand new orthopedic residents how to be more of a physician and not just a carpenter, like the rest of us orthopods."

sooooooo, is this a valid request to join or a flat-out zinger ??? perhaps it is in response to something the dictator heard. wish i knew for sure - but the dictator did not chuckle when he finished.

at least he used the word carpenter rather than butcher, eh?

jd hayworth

2010-08-24T12:33:00.002-05:00

go jd hayworth - take down that chameleon named mccain - who is no conservative. i feel sorry for arizona if they get 6 more years of that mickeymouse mccain. the illegal alien issue will only get worse if they send mccain back to congress.

bling-bling happy!

2010-08-24T09:07:00.006-05:00

i am so excited i am about to burst

amongst other things, i am a gadget junkie. i saw an ad on craigslist for an iphone 3g 8gb with 8, yes EIGHT bling cases! i've seen iphones on craigslist before, but they were never being sold in my town nor did they include any cases. it was always just too much of an inconvenience to check them out.

i've talked to the seller and am waiting to hear back from her as to when and where we can meet.

oh happy is me! wish me luck on educating myself on how to use it - hopefully it's as easy as the motorola backflip was -- well, that is AFTER i learned the difference between using wifi and the at&t edge/3g data network. that is one lesson i will only have to learn once ... i hope.

hybrid cocks...comb

2010-08-23T04:55:00.006-05:00

i've mentioned my cockscombs a few times on facebook - only because i think the blooms are so odd looking.

this is my second year that i have had them and i have two different kinds. one that i call a 'brainy' looking one and the other i refer to as 'frilly.' the frilly ones aren't that unique/strange looking, but they are colorful. the horticulture names are unimportant to me - and i probably could not pronounce them ... nor spell them - so i'm staying with brainy and frilly. i planted both kinds in a small space this spring.

as they started sprouting up, i noticed one had green leaves, but it had red veins running through the leaves - which is strange, as the brainy ones have green leaves and the frilly ones have burgundy red leaves.

i let it continue on with it's life, curious as to what would come of it. finally it started blooming. manOman was i surprised to see that it was producing both types of blossoms in one plant. a natural hybrid indeed.

frilly:

brainy:

hybrid:

nothing funny here

2010-08-21T15:06:00.004-05:00

if this does not scare you into understanding what "they" are - then i'm sorry for you. but then, i'm female and i understand how sharia law applies to females. i don't think i'd fit in under that very well ... would you?

this is the shit we are up against now that a fuckin muslim has been elected to president in what was once, the most powerful nation in the world.

fact or fiction

2010-08-18T19:30:00.003-05:00

very interesting and damn scary. it simply must bu true cuz it's on the internet.

ain't that the truth

2010-08-16T12:19:00.002-05:00

i got this in a forwarded email. just in case your email box has not been overflowing with the same forward, i thought i'd put it out here:

I recently applied for a building permit for a new house. It was going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide with 9 turrets at various heights and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system. It would have parking for 200 cars and I was going to paint it snot green with titty pink trim.

The City Council told me to go to hell.

So I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a Mosque.

.........Work starts on Monday...

is this what it will be like?

2010-08-10T06:08:00.002-05:00

this morning i get out of bed and start the morning routine.

as i pass through the living room, i hunt for the remote and turn on the tv - switch it to channel 205 - fox news. without paying much attention to what is actually on the tv, i go into the kitchen to start the coffee.

i pass back through the living room, still not paying much attention to the tv, as i generally let it run for an hour or so and then i will go back and do a rewind so i can spin through the commercials.

i go into the office and crank up the computers and check that the podcasts downloaded and/or start the podcasts for download and/or copy the podcasts to the mp3 players for the malemate and myself. i also do a check on a few newsy websites to see what happened to the world overnight.

then i go back to the living room to rewind fox news and catch up with that. however, i get into the living room and there is some couple sitting at a table on the screen - not the fox & friends - and they are blabbing in some foreign language - even the ticker at the bottom of the screen is in some foreign language. i change a channel up and down and realize that it is only fox news that has been affected by the "hack."

i called 'the dish' and waited, and waited, and waited on hold. finally a foreign accent gal comes on the line to tell me that they have had several calls regarding this and not to worry.

i said: "not worry? it appears you have been hacked by some middle eastern and you say not worry?"

she says: "oh this is not any form of terrorist act."

me: "uh? and how can you be so certain of that?"

i hung up and did a little search on the net - and apparently this is not the first time that this has happened to the dish broadcast of fox network.

screw spanish - seems i need to learn farsi just to live in this country.

now the enemy has the power to take over the satellite broadcasts? scary shit indeed.

in a blink the week was gone

2010-08-03T18:47:00.005-05:00

we had the granddaughter (tt) here last week. what a pleasure it was having her around. i hope she enjoyed herself and will come back again. she had not been back here in 6 years.

she is my step-granddaughter as i never had kids.

we took her to the airport on monday. i had leaky eyes half the trip back home from tulsa.

funny text exchange with her mom (whom i do love and appreciate for a job well done on raising tt)

when tt left california i had texted her mom to see if tt's flight departed on time. she came back with:

"yep. she's on the plane. no problem. cc (the blood grandma) called and asked her if she wanted to come out there and visit the last part of her summer. tt said i'm already going to see my grammy and grandpa hahaha!"

i replied: "omg! that is so funny! well catty funny. what did cc say when she said that? that girl sure knows how to make our day! luv it!"

the mom replied: "she (cc) said well you know we miss you out here and tt said ya well, maybe next year. hahaha!"

clearly, i'm the grammy of heart ;-)

tt & me at the silver dollar city in missouri:

tt & me atving in oklahoma:

best event of the summer!

2010-07-26T12:54:00.003-05:00

today my 16-year-old granddaughter flies in to tulsa to spend a week with us old folks. to say i'm outta my mind excited would be an understatement. this is the first year since 2004 that she has been out this way. i asked her the previous years, but i could tell her heart was not in it, but this year when i asked, she said, "i really would like to come out." i was elated.

flights were researched. she had flown before, but she had never done a plane change by herself. well of course there are no straight through flights to bumfuque, (xoxo jock) missouri or oklahoma from sacramento - so a plane change would have to happen if she was to come here. she was up to the experience. yaaaaay!

i text'd her mom this morning about the time her flight was to leave - and she text'd back and said she is all boarded and in the air. yaaaaay!

then her mom sends another text and says that the other gramma had called and asked the gdaughter if she would come down to texas. gdaughter says "i'm going to my grammy and grandad's." big YAAAAAAY for us! and a big ZING to the blood gramma.

the other granmma has never had much to do with the gdaughter - and clearly the gdaughter remembers and, apparently does hold a bit of grudge. hmmm, you'd think she really was of my blood wouldn't ya? works for me!

quite the dilemma ...

2010-07-23T17:53:00.001-05:00

this was a portion of a report i typed today:

She says she has difficulty driving, because she will get lost. Her husband helps her with the driving, but he cannot see.

soooooooo, beware of the gal with convulsions driving with the blind man in the passenger seat ...

the truth of the regime

2010-07-23T09:13:00.005-05:00

and this is what so many misguided people voted for - keep in mind, that this record of unemployment is just since the democrats took over both houses of congress in 2006.

not the decline of america, but total destruction

thank a democrat.

the best hometowner photo

2010-07-16T13:10:00.004-05:00

it's been kinda crazy fun around here this summer - which is wonderful, compared to what we went through last spring and summer.

in late june i went back to the ittybitty hometown all class reunion - dragging my feet and pouting about it the entire way. well, wouldn't ya know, i had an absolutely fabulous time! i really enjoyed connecting with the old classmates, crushes, and most of all, friends.

the ittybitty hometown weekly newspaper there runs a photo of "where people are reading the hometowner"
this little section includes a photo of people and/or person reading the hometowner in various places from around the world. my cousin is big on this and whenever we are with them, she ALWAYS has a hometowner with her for the photo op - which she then submits. needless to say, we have been in several of these over the years.

i decided to do something a little mischievous because, as i was growing up, that was what i did ... "how much can i get away with without getting caught?"

i decided it would be fun to climb the fence at the municipal pool after hours and get a photo of a bunch of alumni reading the hometowner and submit it. to make a long story short, there was much orchestrating and fast talking - but in the end i GOT THE PHOTO.

we got to the pool around 11:00 pm and several of us went over the fence - then we saw a car pull up. lo and behold it was a cop car. the cop said he had heard about what we were up to and then asked those that had not yet gone over the fence if they would like to go in the front door - as he had a key.
well, hell yes!

i asked the cop who he was, as i knew he was an import, he said, "i'm kim _____, CHIEF OF POLICE!"

oh... great.

so, we look around for a good place to take the photo and then realize that everyone there wants to be in the photo.

i have no choice, i ask the chief if he would be so kind as to take the photo - he said "sure!" we all got positioned, the chief VERIFIED that it was indeed the "hometowner" that we were holding, and then proceeded to take photo after photo until we got one we all liked.

here's the end result - the clock on the wall is at 11:22 - perfect!

i love being naughty - i guess that never changes with age, eh?

the emptiness of it all

2010-06-19T10:02:00.005-05:00

so this incompetent president uses his bully-technique (which btw can no longer be used in schools, yet bam-bam, once again, pulls his "do as i say, not as i do") to shakedown bp for $20 billion - like the money is the biggest issue here? I thought plugging the hole was the biggest issue, first and foremost.

bp is well aware that they are going to be socked to high heaven with lawsuits - perhaps to the point of bankruptcy - and don't forget 40% of those shareholders are AMERICANS - moms & pops, employees, etc., invested for their retirements and pensions. so, it would be wise not get to far down bp's throat.

if anyone thinks that the $20 billion shakedown by this unqualified president is going to do anything to stop the oil leak, they are nuts. he's just making his l'il nest egg to abuse his power even more - and we will probably see much of these monies used/abused or the november elections - which have nothing to do with the oil leak.

if anyone thinks that the people of the gulf coast that are suffering from this disaster, will see one thin dime of that $20 billion, they had better do some homework. chances are pr'E good that they will NEVER see a dime of that money and IF they do, it will probably not be until the year 2013 or 2014. those that are damaged and broken because of this oil spill will have to go through all the fucking federal red tape at their own expense to recover a pittance amount, if any, of the $20 billion.

but dear ol' bam-bam - all he has to do is pull one of his thug bully tantrums and stomp his feet to bypass federal law. i'll betcha that will not work for the folks that are suffering from the effects of the disaster and who are the ones that really need it.

http://abcnews.go.com/WN/bp-oil-spill-ken-feinberg-promises-money-abc/story?id=10956385

""We'll decide who will get paid," he promised, saying "we're going to get them paid immediately. [...] A matter of days." really? "a matter of days" ??? hmm, i wonder what "days" actually means to a pay czar -- maybe the correct spelling should have been "daze."

a semi-busy time

2010-06-15T20:45:00.004-05:00

ah summer. gotta love it out here in hillbilly country ... the torrential rains, the ever-constant tornado watches and warnings, the invincible grubs that eat anything with a root, and, oh yes, the friggin' moles with the steady plowing of dirt to get to the grubs. such is life in the ozarks.

i was back in arkansas last weekend at the capt'n and shar's. we did a garage sale. i'm thinking it will probably be the last one we will do there. even with great signs, we just did not get the traffic - which was actually kinda nice, cuz i got to spend even more 'un-demanded' time with them.

it seems when shar and i get together we manage to come up with something else to do in the future. i told her that on my last gambling excursion with my friend from high school, i managed to throw enuf in the machines to warrant a free night's stay in the hotel. well, shar just so happened to also have some free nights. so we booked ourselves for the 20th. yes, father's day.
hence, my gift to the malemate is, he will get the bed at the house to himself that night - cuz i'm going for a night at the casino ... happy father's day malemate! kisskiss

once again, i am going through 'glasses fiasco' this year. i ordered new specs a couple months ago. they came in and the lenses were too big for this pinhead of mine. so they ground them down. well, they were still too big. so, we are now about 9 weeks since first ordering and monday they tell me that i have to start all over with the selection process. this may not seem like a big deal, but they have 3,000 frames in there - so yeh, it is a big deal.
an hour and a half later, i had made my decision and of course i want them done by monday so i can pick them up on my way home from the casino, so i will have them in time for the trip to iowa the following weekend.

pushybitchRme ... and just a tad proud of it.

yeh, it's back to the ittybitty hometown in iowa on the 24th. i have not been there since september 2009. it is the all-alumni reunion, which has been done every 5 years since 1985. to say i am dreading spending time with so many from the past, is putting it mildly. i fear what incident may come up. i plan to spend a few hours with the classmates and then most of the time will be spent with family and ... avoiding/hiding/whatever. i knew this event was coming up and thought i was going to get out of it - but then things changed and obligations took over. so, hopefully "the incident" will not come up and all will go well.

another friend got me started on the dirty martinis, once again. seems the scotch and i are having a bit of a migraine problem - well i am having the problem - the scotch could care less.
so, i'm sipping a dirty martini garnished with a blue cheese stuffed olive. sounds tasty, eh?
trust me, it is.

pole dance

2010-05-16T09:42:00.004-05:00

i ran across this and could not believe it - i had never seen anything like it - gives a whole new meaning to pole dancing

the stamina,
the balance,
the strength,
and most of all ... the grace

tell us how you really feel gov. christie

2010-05-15T08:49:00.008-05:00

one can only hope this guy does not fall into the politicians web of corruption like so many have ... and will:

n.j. gov. christie -

p.s. thanks jock for the embed tip - it actually worked for me! xoxo

big mouth, but little ears

2010-05-10T15:26:00.003-05:00

earbuds are a problem for those of us with small ears. i have probably bought 8 different ones in the past 2 years trying to find something that will stay in my ear and then to stay in my ear without hurting.

i read reviews on the westone 1, the klipsch, along with several other brands and then decided to give the folks at earphonesolutions.com a call. i told the gal that my main issue is that the earbuds always fall out and that i had it narrowed down to the two different brands. she said the westone 1 is much more comfortable and that they come with more ear tips so there is more to work with to find the best fit for the best sound.

i went with the westone1 - and they have free shipping.

oh, about the sony walkman - i think that will be returned. i'm still debating it. it has no way to bookmark an audiobook. so, if i listen to a book for awhile, then switch over to a podcast or music, when i go back to the book, it starts all over from the beginning - unlike my little sansa clip which holds it's place on any category . this is a big disappointment for me, as i listen to alot of audiobooks and podcasts and am bouncing back and forth between the two frequently.

bummer to sony.

will you want to greet me?

2010-05-09T10:45:00.001-05:00

dear mom,

i know it's too late to say i'm sorry.

i wonder if our souls will be at all attracted to each other when (if) i am blessed to make it to the other side.

if you do not come to me, i will understand, and i certainly would not blame you.

i think of you often with love ... but more so, with regret.

they come in all sizes

2010-05-06T19:12:00.002-05:00

yesterday on the morning walk, i ran into another fellow walker. i saw he had a headset on and asked if he was listening to an mp3 player or a radio.

he said, "yeh, i just have a little one."

well, honestly, i figured as much, but most men don't talk about it

perks of my colonoscopy

2010-05-04T07:06:00.003-05:00

yesterday i did the dreaded colonscopy. actually, the day before (the prep day) was muchMuchMUCH worse than the scope itself.
bottomline, doc found and removed one polyp, but believes it to be benign, hence, all seems to be fine at this point.

however, there was one HUGE "stroke me" during this experience which made my day, week, year, etc.

as i was rolled into the procedure room where there were 2 female nurses, the one towards the foot of the bed glanced at me and then at the screen, which was also at the foot of the bed.

as she was looking at the screen, she asked me how old i was, and then turned her glance back to me. i told her 55. she looked back at the screen, and said, "well, i saw that on the screen here, but thought there was an error. i have to tell you, you do not look your stated age at all."
i asked, "why? do i look 60?"
she said, "not at all, i thought you were much younger, that is why i was inquiring. i thought they had the birth year wrong."

yeh, i think i have a new best friend. too bad i was knocked out right after that and never did get her name.

wow! buy of the day

2010-04-29T10:43:00.002-05:00

i've been watching some of the mp3 players as the one i have now is 8gb - and i really like it (sansa clip), but i wanted something bigger. also, the little sansa clip does have a tendency to lose it's brains occasionally, and hence has to be reformatted - so everything has to be reloaded.

so i checked out various 16gb and 32gb ones and found this 16gb sony for 69 bux.

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Sony-Walkman-16GB-MP3-Video-Player-NWZ-E345-Black/11993287

good lord, if i don't get some work here soon, i'm sure i'll have netshopped til my fingers dropped.

what am i missing here?

2010-04-26T12:04:00.003-05:00

twice in the past month i have heard this justin bieber sing on two different shows.
prior to this i had never heard of him and have done no research on the kid.

i have to wonder who this kid is related to, or who he is bonking.

i do not profess to be an expert by any means, but c'mon - surely i am not the only one that realizes that this kid cannot carry a tune?

flush NO paper

2010-04-15T17:31:00.003-05:00

this past weekend, we went into a little cafe along the lake to get some lunch.

i went in the restroom to pee and wash my hands.

there were three signs posted in this ittybitty potty that said:

DO NOT FLUSH ANY PAPER PRODUCTS DOWN THE TOILET!

manOman! am i ever glad i didn't have to poop!

the bambam regime

2010-04-15T05:56:00.004-05:00

watch and heed ... before it is scrubbed off youtube

CommieTunes - OBAMA's END GAME REVEALED - Obama Socialist / Communist / Marxist / Maoist

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Iz3VjoHXLA&feature=player_embedded

abortions under obamacare

2010-04-12T18:05:00.002-05:00

i wonder if there will be long waiting lines for abortions under obamacare.

if the wait is too long to get an abortion, chances are ... the baby will be born.

wouldn't that alone put abortions back into the hands of the desperate mothers?

remember the horror stories of the metal coat hangers in the seedy hotel rooms?

i wonder if abortion on demand will end up being a do-it-yourself murder once again?

they will ban metal coat hangers next.

insightful book

2010-04-08T08:48:00.003-05:00

i am not one to read books that don't include murder mysteries and i seldom re-read a book ... but, i just finished listening to liberty and tyranny by mark r. levin.

this is a book that i will listen to again. this book was written before bam-bam took office - and so far, he is spot on for bam-bam's silent takeover.

healthcare has been taken over by the government, which will allow them to decide who gets healthcare and what kind in 2013 and, more importantly, who will not.

they took over 2 car industries in the USA, which we can now refer to s 'government motors'. before long they will decide for us what cars we can drive.

they have had the education system for years - why do you think so many people have opted for home schooling? because the kids coming out of the public schools seldom know the history of the government - much less how it works.

they took over the student loan industry - and make no mistake about it - they took that over so they can decide what field young people can and cannot go into - why else would they remove that from the private sector?

they worked the home lending industry to the point where they took over some of the largest banks. thankfully, they did not get all of them ... yet.

and yet they will not put troops on our borders to protect the US citizens - which is one of the main functions of the government -- protect our borders.

this regime is the most radical and destructive of my time. they are trying to cram as much implosion-type legislation through as possible before november - and this is just a sampling of what is coming.

w. sykes?

2010-04-01T20:27:00.005-05:00

this is still funny.

listen to [wanda sykes?]
volunteering for a conjugal visit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAqN8ajICnA

linked cuz i don't have a clue how to embed here - sorry.

remembering mom

2010-04-01T19:44:00.004-05:00

i picked up a couple very thin, fine, vintage crystal glasses at the thrift store a couple weeks ago. tonight i made myself a salty dog - yes cap'n max, if you are reading this - a vodka based cocktail. unfortunately, my trusted scotchies have been giving me such terrible migraines as of late that i had to make a switch. hopefully, this is a temporary change.

today i was thinking about birthdays - i'm not sure why. i only know one person who's birthday is april 1st - and he is from waaaaaaay back. he may have experienced deathday for all i know.

i remember growing up, on our birthdays, mom made angel food cake. i'm not sure why cuz my favorite desert is vanilla pudding from scratch, dad's is mom's chocolate cake, older brother's is cherry pie, and the younger brother's is cutout cookies. so, why she ALWAYS made angel food cake eludes me. then when the her granddaughters came along, she ALWAYS made angel food cake for their birthdays.

she made these from scratch with the what? 12-14 egg whites?
very few cake mixes were ever used in the old homestead.

i have concluded that, clearly, it did not matter what the birthday person liked, she just liked the challenge of making a non-falling, perfect, angel food cake from scratch - topped with boiled fluffy frosting.

and they were perfect. and never was her angel food cake pan used for anything but her angel food cakes.

needless to say, i will always associate angel food cake with my mom.

quite contrary

2010-04-01T18:43:00.001-05:00

about a week ago sarah palin campaigned for mccain. i find this quite contrary, because isn't part of palin's gripe, with the status quo, the special interest groups/lobbyists and their HUGE paybacks? seems that is exactly what palin did - a big fat 'debt paid in full' - or perhaps just part.

granted, no one would know who she is had it not been for mccain but does she reeeeeeeeeeeally support mccain over j.d. hayworth? mccain, who is such a rino that it's an embarrassment to have him on the republican ticket - and she, being portrayed as such a conservative.

seriously, if she could vote in arizona - would she vote for mccain? the guy that wants to work with getting all the illegal aliens "documented" so they can suck off the USA tits for the rest of their lives? so that the USA will sooner than later become the "mexistates"?

not that anyone cares, but i for one, am very disenchanted with palin.

bet he wishes he could take this back

2010-03-25T13:02:00.001-05:00

ohhhh the things that slip out when we least think:

congressman john dingel - 3/22/10
"The harsh fact of the matter is when you're going to pass legislation that will cover 300 [million] American people in different ways it takes a long time to do the necessary administrative steps that have to be taken to put the legislation together to control the people."

manOman - sounds so hitler like, doncha think?

let's see now - he's a michigan congressman right? isn't that where detroit is? where the overtake of government motors (formerly general motors) has produced an unemployment rate of what? 25-30-50% ?

yeh, how's that 'control' - and 'hope & change' thing working for them?

i'll think about it

2010-03-25T08:54:00.002-05:00

every morning when i wake, i lay there for a second and tell myself, "today i am not going to smoke."

then i bounce up out of bed (yeh, bounce may be a bit misleading) and head to the kitchen to get the cough going - oops i meant to say, get the coffee going and then i stroll out to the garage, light one up, and think about it some more.

the terminally ill nation

2010-03-24T16:38:00.002-05:00

i think i'm going to be physically sick over what this lackey of a president and his congress did to this nation with their 'health care reform' bill. this country is in debt beyond their ears to china and then they drag us down even further? AND to top it off, not ONE of the congress pimples will ever feel the effects of shitty health care - because they are exempt from this monstrosity. that's right - it's good 'nuf for us peons - but not good 'nuf for them and their families. clearly they are not there to represent us - just their own fuckin egos. elitist bastards.

health care is not a right.
life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are rights.

c'mon november, we will remember.
i say flip 'em all -- if it says incumbent on the ballot - vote for anyone but them.

greedyGreedGREEDY selfish bastards

head count by a dickhead

2010-03-16T14:51:00.005-05:00

i do not generally get the mail unless it's near the fourth of the month, when i think my check will be here. every few days for the past month i asked the malemate if the census had arrived. so, clearly, he knew i wanted to check it out and fill it out.

it arrived yesterday.

right away he starts filling in the blanks. i told him that i wanted to do it and that all we had to complete was the number in the household -- and that was all i wanted on there.

so, he throws it in the air and stomps off.

a couple hours later i took a glance at it - and there he had filled out a bunch of shit on it - but with just a glance, i did not see everything. i figured i would give it a thorough looksee when he left to go bowling.

after he was gone, i went to check it out.
it was nowhere to be found.

when he came home he informed me that he had completed and mailed it.

huh? i didn't even get to see all of it and he already has it in the mail? so, i asked if he put it in our mailbox.

no, he had mailed it on the way to bowling last night.

what the fuck? he always puts outgoing mail in our mailbox. so just what did he put on that census? obviously, he's guilty of something.
he did inform me that he had included the phone number and our birthdates!

as of today, i am not speaking to him.
i'll just let it brew and simmer and then we'll see where it goes.

jackass.

a curious conversation

2010-03-10T19:17:00.005-06:00

i type for a living and sometimes you overhear some of the strangest things when the dictator forgets to turn off the dictation machine before he/she answers a phone call - or speaks with other staffers.
this particular one was by one of the foreigner ppl that i type and it was not only strange - but actually kinda scary.

phone rings (really cool middle eastern ringtone too) -

dictator answers: "hey. hi. starting about 9:00? okay. that will be great. wonderful. great, thanks man. (pause-listening)
say again? he's dead. he's dead. yeh. you think he's sedated? i don't think he's sedated. i don't think he's sedated. ask the nurse. i don't think he's sedated. probably. just be careful to see if you don't have any sedation running over there or hanging on the other patient. yeh, if you don't see any sedation running then i think he's dead. he's got propofol running over there? okay. yeh, yeh, yeh. just make sure you have the correct medication list with the patient that is running before you come down. ask the nurse. maybe just run it to sedation, but i think he's dead."

so, one has to question with what? 8-12 years of higher education and they still can't tell if a person is dead or sedated? yikes!

you think i look what??

2010-03-07T09:01:00.002-06:00

it's feeling like the realdeal spring these days. and with that, i decided to give myself a new head - ummm, i mean haircut.
so i dug out the trustee flowbee and away i went.

i took it down to about 1" long, gooped it up with that great 'got2b' product, put a face on and went out to show&tell the malemate.

he's at the computer focused on some mind-numbing game and i say, "ooooooo i think i look soooooo much better."

the malemate looks at me and says, "no you don't. no, not at all."

i stand there in total shock.

he continues staring at me with that, 'what did i say wrong?' look.

finally, i remember that his hearing is going to hell and i ask, "do you even know what i said?"

the malemate just keeps staring at me - now with the beginnings of a horrified look.

i repeated: "i said i think i look so much BETTER."

he burst out laughing and says, "omg! i thought you said you looked so much FATTER!"

yeh, i got the malemate pr'E well trained, doncha think?

census fiasco?

2010-02-18T11:32:00.000-06:00

Interesting to know:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsDhkPym01k&feature=email

poor michelle

2010-01-22T14:32:00.000-06:00

manOman can you imagine being michelle obama these days? i'm guessing she's telling 'the chosen' to put his big boy panties (manties--thnx jock) on and tell him to suck it up when he's around the little ones.

busted - but not by the irs

2010-01-20T05:34:00.001-06:00

i think i have put myself in a bit of a pickle here. when the malemate and i lived in california, our monies were completely separate. he had his bills to pay and took care of mine. i never knew what he had for monies, and he did not keep track of mine. then when he retired and we moved, we decided to open joint accounts. that was all fine by me, because at that time, i had no real income of my own.
then i started working again.

i have two typing accounts now. one check i put in the joint account - the other, (what was the smaller of the two) well the other i keep for myself.
not too long ago i picked up more typing with the 'my money' account. i always try to get the mail when i know that check will be coming in, because i don't want him asking me any questions like:
'how much was that one for?"
if he does get the envelope before me and asks the question, i always throw out a 'round-a-bout' number - one that he won't suggest i do this or that with it. as far as i am concerned, this is my mad money.

well, duhRme, i just realized that he does the taxes, and very soon the tax papers will start coming in.

i wonder if he'll be surprised when he sees that i made double what i told him i was making. i sure hope he keeps it to himself cuz i'm quite sure i'm going to end up feeling like a sneaky bitch if i have to actually verbalize my little secret.

mom? is that you or is that me?

2010-01-08T14:32:00.000-06:00

recently, I was recalling a time, many years ago, that i dropped in at my folks' house around 7:30 at night and there was mom, already in her sleep wear!
i laughed and, teasingly, gave her a hard time about being ready for bed so early in the evening.

last night, around 7:45, i found myself bathed and in my sleepwear.
have i really become my mom?

silky junqueRme

2010-01-06T19:06:00.006-06:00

i have a couple bins of silk fabric - fabric from shirts, skirts, jackets, etc. which i have accumulated from the tag sales and the thrift stores (yes along with the bins and bins of wool). i cut the clothes into strips (on the bias) and made myself a 100% silk shirret rag rug. it's certainly not the prettiest one i've made - but it's really soft.

recently i went to the local 'front page' store where they sell items that have been returned to stores. i picked up a 100% silk curtain panel for a 25c. it's not the first time i have found silk curtain panels on their clearance racks - but it's the first time i've found one for 25c.
yeh, it was a good day on the junquing front.

twenty ten is here ...

2010-01-06T18:52:00.006-06:00

...and what will it bring?

getting older makes one really wonder what the new year bring. i'm sure it will bring more death. it always does.
i can only hope it brings much happiness though too.

cycles - everything is cyclical - it always has been - it always will be.

my mom's birthday was yesterday. her name was albertha. she had no middle name. she would have been 84.
this is one of the oldest pictures i have of her and my dad - it was taken when my folks were dating. it was a couple months before they married. the day after they married my dad went off to serve in WWII.
a beautiful, playful couple they were.

dear bob

2009-12-20T20:48:00.001-06:00

i have thought of you often
over the past couple years
i put you away
one self-pity day
i think it is time to meet you again,
my Battery-Operated Boyfriend

strokin' me

2009-12-07T16:25:00.006-06:00

i've been doing transcription for about 4 years. i so enjoy it. i would go into a deep depression if i did not have the work to wake up to most days of the week. early in the spring i took on another account from a gal in california. i was not getting steady work from her, but i had hopes that it would change in time. i never knew what she was going send my way - so every day i learned something new.

then one day, i thought i would do one of my craigslist searches just to see what was out there for part-time transcription work. not that i was really looking, but ya never know if there is something better.

i had not done a search for work in about 4 months, because i was keeping busy. but, i really did want some steady doctors as it's much easier to get a rhythm when you type the same ones - they too are creatures of habit and generally use the same phrases over and over again.

to my surprise, the second ad on the list was by the gal i am typing for in california. she was looking for a full-time person. so, i emailed her and told her i saw her ad on craigslist and was curious. she asked me if i was looking for more work and i told her i was, but i didn't think i could do full time because of my texas account. so, i asked her if she would consider taking on another part-time person and send the other part-time work to me.

i have to tell you, my 2 faithful 'followers', in this business, it does not seem that we get much stroking. and of course, one does not really know these people you type for, you just hope like hell the checks don't bounce.

anyway, she emailed back with such a 'feel good' note i just wanted to stroke myself a li'l bit by showing you what she wrote:

"I love your work, your work ethic, and your dependability, and I would love to send more work to you. I have one person that wants to do “part-time” and maybe I could give you the majority but send some to her also. Like I said, these doctors dictate irregularly and this office uploads irregularly. It doesn’t make for a very good combination ! and it just keeps me crazed (more than normal). Think about it but just let me know because I answered a couple of resumes this morning. I would love to shift more work your way and not interview for a full-time person."

yeh, no doubt, that was simply delicious for my ego.

i am not nutzo!

2009-11-30T08:10:00.006-06:00

about two weeks ago, when i got up in the morning to make the coffee, out of the corner of my eye, i saw a small, moving shadow on the floor. it startled me, but i thought maybe i just needed coffee to shake the sleep fuzzies out of my head. a few days later i went into the office and again i saw a small shadow. now, i was spooked.
i thought i was losing my mind and i finally told the malemate about the two incidents. he didn't laugh, but he smirked and i knew he was thinking i was going off the deep end.

i was getting very concerned; wondering if i was hallucinating. and if i was, what the hell had brought it on?

then the day before thanksgiving, i was busy in the kitchen making my pies and DAMMIT! there it was again! i squealed and the malemate came running in asking what the matter was. just as i was going to tell him what - there it went again - a frickin mouse!

the sticky traps came out and were strategically placed - or so i thought - until 20 minutes later i stepped in one. grrrrrrrrrrr okay, now it is game on. that mouse is not getting out of here unless it is attached to one of those sticky traps.

the malemate left to do errands and i went back to the office to do some work. after awhile, i went back to the kitchen and sure enough, there it was, the cutest little ball of fur struggling on the sticky trap.
Noooooooooooo! the malemate is not here to deal with it!
i get on the phone and asked how soon can he get home.
he was on his way.
the malemate is now my most recent hero.
the mouse in the house is no more. end.

the malemate and i spent turkey day in oklahoma this year. first time in 12-13 years that we did not head to iowa. i felt guilty about it. i missed not being with my people but i did have a wonderful time with the OK cousins - as we always do. i even did black friday for the first time in probably 15 years.

the OK! cousin and i got a later start than planned that morning, and i just knew that walmart was going to be empty of all the 5-11 am specials - as we did not get there til about 8am.
we pulled into the half full parking lot, walked in store, and were surprised that there were so few people - and glancing around, clearly wallyworld had puuuuuuuuuulenty of all the sale items! so, i got a couple of the 1tb external hard drives, a samsung lcd tv, a new office chair, and a 320gb portable hard drive - EVERYTHING on the ad that i wanted, was now in my possession.
yeh, black friday was all about me, i didn't shop for anyone else.
was i supposed to?

now ain't that the shitz - or maybe not

2009-11-20T17:25:00.002-06:00

i can't remember if i took my daily dose of miralax today. this creates a bit of a problem. ya see, if i did take it and then take another dose, i may not leave the bathroom all day tomorrow - and if i don't take it and did not take it earlier, well then i won't be needing the bathroom for a week.
i'm going to have start doing daily dispenses in weekly containers, just like i do with the other pills.
getting old sux, doncha think?

2009-11-18T11:28:00.004-06:00

another paint in the wall

so i took on my 'focal wall' in the living room once again. if you recall, i originally did a bellagio finish on it. it's been 3 years now and with the new furniture, i was ready for a change. unfortunately, after 7 different coats of paint in 3 days, it really does not look that much different from where i started.
it was so much more pr'E in my head. i guess i'll live with this for a year - maybe longer.

before (the faux bellagio):

here i thought i was done - then after 24 hours realized i hated it:

final result (for now anyway):

and of course, i had to, once again, strip the dresser so it would quasi-match the rest of the new furniture.

on to other things.
this has probably been seen by everyone but me ... until recently - but just the same, it's funny stuff:
the text associated said,

"this guy thought he had the world's best tattoo until he went to prison!"

i guess it is actually body paint and not a tattoo - but funny just the same.

more fun than watching a car chase

2009-10-15T18:23:00.002-05:00

today when i started watching the balloon chase, it took me back to the days when we lived in california. it was always a hectic start to the day when we woke up and turned on the tv and lo and behold a live car chase.
it was hell trying to get ready for work and yet keep your eyes glued to the tv just in case there was a suicide by cop or car crash/pileup -- wouldn't want to miss that.
needless to say, i sat and watched about 45 minutes of the floating boy-less balloon today, up until it finally landed. the only difference between then and now is that i got to watch it undistracted.

sometimes i have such a drained brain. in the past 3 weeks, i have received at least two emails from the gal i type for that my doctor will be on vacation the week of the oct. 19th. so, this past weekend i managed to get some projects, plans, and work lined up for this week because i'm going to have allllllllllll this time on my hands.
tuesday comes, and she sends me a file to type - 66 patients! huh?
yeh, i have a calendar but clearly, i don't know how to use it.

the weekend starts tomorrow for me and i'm off to the OK! cousins. i generally am very happy about going to stay on the farm for a few days, but this time, i feel apprehension - i can't put my finger on the reason why - just a feeling.
i'll be checking out the pecan (pronounced pEE-caan where i come from) trees while i'm there. i hope they set this year, as last year there was not a one.
i think 20 pounds of unshelled pecans could keep my obsessive pee brain and hands busy next week.

downs and ups

2009-10-05T06:18:00.004-05:00

i just learned 2 days ago that a blogging buddy (twila) from several years ago lost her 30-year-old son. he was the father of two. i don't know the cause of death, she didn't say and i didn't ask.
my heart goes out to her.

my dad was scheduled to go to a lock-down facility in another town on the 23th, due the repeated problem of him 'escaping' and the care center in the ittybitty hometown is not fenced and not able to facilitate dementia patients with the wondering and 'get-out-of-here' desires. my brother and his wife were there early that morning to take him to the different facility. dad was adamant that he was not going - that he would kill himself first. he would not let anyone touch him. the cops were called. dad recognized one of them and said to him, 'my chest hurts, i think i need to go to the hospital.' off he went,via ambulance, to the hospital. in the meantime, my brother went to the county seat to plead for the judge to sign the document that would allow dad to be committed.
they found nothing unusual with dad's heart and placed him in the lock-down psyche ward there.
a very unpleasant incompetence hearing was scheduled for thursday, 26th.
the 26th arrived, both my brother and dad were at the courthouse, with their perspective attorneys - all of them dreading going through an incompetence hearing. dad's attorney had drawn up a document (contract-like) that basically said he can go back to the ittybitty hometown nursing home if he agrees to no longer escape, sign himself out, or throw his fits. If he continues with the uncooperative behavior, he agrees to go to the a lock-down facility.
surprisingly, dad signed it! and back to the ittybitty hometown care center he went. it has been 3 whole days since he has been back - so far so good.
no one wants him to leave ittybitty hometown - but everyone, including himself, knows he cannot live on his own any more.

i spent last weekend with Cap'n Max and Shar. i had been promising to get over since april, and each planned trip was replaced with a trip to iowa - so it was a long overdue get-away - and it was grrrrrrrrrreat! (li'l tony-the-tiger lingo)

i hit an estate sale saturday and picked up a 3-piece matching coffee table with 2 end tables. i'm thinking i may actually try to put this house together so that it is presentable. but then, it's just a new coffee table and end tables -- well, new to me anyway. i also picked up a couple of those vintage iron lawn chairs. they were a pile of chipped paint and rust yesterday. today they are shiny black.
i need a local junkin' buddy. i miss living closer to Shar.

Let's just bypass the legal separation

2009-09-03T16:34:00.005-05:00

I vote Yay! for this one. Where do I sign and can it be completed in 30 days or less?

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT! (note: this is unverified.)

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass, each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security..

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley MacLaine . You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since they so often offend you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots, and if you do not agree, just hit delete.. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you can answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And we won't have to press 1 for English.

bowling and bawling

2009-08-18T05:09:00.003-05:00

not so many weeks after the malemate had talked me into bowling a summer league (which i went into pouting and bitching), one of the staffers there came up to me and asked if i would bowl on her winter league.

now, here i was in a semi-drunken frame of mind and feeling quite cheerful, and agreeable - next thing i realized was i had opened my mouth and the only word that came out was, "okay."

they didn't even give me a chance to renege on it the next day. the malemate went out and had team t-shirts done up.

so, now i'm committed to 36 - yes THIRTY SIX weeks of this crap - every monday night.

"okay" and "yes" just come too damn easy under the influence of alcohol.

the skankass niece

2009-08-13T09:23:00.001-05:00

i have 2 brothers. only the older one reproduced. he has 3 living daughters. the 2 older ones are okay. the youngest one is a pure con-skankass and the brother cannot/will not see thru her evil, devious, manipulative ways. he's an A-1 idiot in my eyes these days. the skankass has taken my dad for $5500 and is not done yet.

while dad was in the hospital in his oblivious frame of mind, the skankass went over to his apartment and 'cleaned.' yeh, she cleaned out his freezer which had $800 cash in it AND she managed to find all the copies of her debts to him (the $5500) and promptly disposed of them, never to be seen again.

also, while my dad has been in the hospital/nursing home, his one credit card continued to be used. i called yesterday and cancelled the card and told them that someone has been using it, and yet he has been in the hospital/nursing home since 7/16. the card had been used as recently as 8/10.

yesterday, i found out that the skankass took him out shopping. my dad is in no condition yet to be out and about. he can't even get up by himself yet. i called the bank and 'hotted' his atm card - cuz just sure enough, the skankass would charm this trusting old man out of his pin number. yeh, she's good.

so today, i am trying to get the list of charges on the credit card, cuz clearly i want this skankass stopped - and i'm sure she is the one helping herself.

what i am thrilled about, is that now it's documented that dad is not 'all there' mentally, and there is no way he could've been charging at the local market while he was in the hospital. i know my brother is trying to head me away from all this and repeatedly has thrown the fact that 'HE HAS POWER OF ATTORNEY' in my face. he can do what he wants, and i will continue to do what i can to protect my dad. if only i can prove that the skankass used his credit card without his knowledge, then i'm going to see if i can get some help from the area agency on the aging - for elderly financial abuse.

i want to see that skankass go to jail. she has screwed so many people over the years - when does the karma catch up with her?
i'm going to be real disappointed if it was not the skankass using the card - but the truth will be a good thing - whatever it may be.

what does a real vacation feel like?

2009-08-04T19:50:00.005-05:00

the malemate and i used to go on vacations twice a year - real vacations, not relative vacations - you know, the ones where you go to stay with relatives. of course, going to alaska to see my cousin is not considered a relative vacation cuz afterall, she is my lifelong best friend. the malemate and i have not vacationed together since going to south carolina in 2004.
i'm due.

around 6 p.m. monday, i finally arrived back home after an 8.5 hour drive. dad is in the nursing home once again. i am not sure that is where he will stay, and i am quite sure he is going to be a difficult 'guest'.
as of tonight, on the phone, he was confused again. when i was there, he was really quite good after they got him back to the nursing home.
he ended up being in the hospital for 16 days for a prostate issue. he received a total of 6 pints of blood during that time. the last 2 pints were given the the last 2 days he was there. they managed to get his blood up to 10, which is good enough to discharge one from the hospital, and sent him out the door.
i still wonder where that last 2 pints of blood went.

on a fun note, one of the grandson's has been selected to be in an upcoming toyota commercial. he's actually the extremely ornery one.

this morning i opened the email to catch up on the past 3/4 of a week's mail, and there was an email from macy gray's facebook; she had added me as a friend. interesting, eh? especially, since i'm not even on the malemate's daughter's 'friend's list'.
yeh, i added her.

are you sure it's the dts?

2009-07-24T05:43:00.004-05:00

yesterday morning i got a call from one of the staffers at the nursing home - dad was taken back to the hospital via ambulance. he talked all night long and was hallucinating something terrible. i talked to the doctor and she said she believes it is alcohol withdrawal - the 'd' of the dts. i questioned that it had been 7 days since he went into surgery - i thought the dts started within 48-72 hours. she said it can take longer. i asked where are the tremors of the dts if indeed it is alcohol withdrawal. no answer.

i talked with a niece and she described some of the things he was doing the night before when she visited him. it reminded me very much of the time when mom had the blood clot on her brain in 1970. several of the family members are not convinced that this is an alcohol issue. the people that check in on him do not believe he was drinking that much a month prior to his surgery.

i think i'll be making the 8-hour drive up there, by myself, on saturday. i know there is nothing i can do to help him - but at least if he comes out of it, he'll have a familiar face there.

forgive me dad

2009-07-22T06:26:00.004-05:00

last thursday my dad went in for surgery - cystoscopy and transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP) under anesthesia. when i talked to him after the surgery, he seemed a little confused the first day - but not too bad. the second day after surgery he was babbling nonstop - and bleeding. they had given him 4 pints of blood by now and the nurses could not tell me why he was babbling nonstop but they did tell me that he will sit there and have conversations and no one is in the room with him. the third day they decided they needed to go back in to see if they could stop the bleeding. they evacuated a very large clot and cauterized bleeders - again under anesthesia.

the fourth day i talked to yet another nurse - a guy named steve, who is from my ittybitty hometown and knows my dad. i asked him about this terrible confusion and babbling - as i had done with the previous nurses AND who could not give me an acceptable answer. steve told me that he has seen this quite often with older people that have had anesthesia and that sometimes they come out of it and sometimes they don't. god bless steve for telling me this because i had no idea why this had come upon dad soooo fast - virtually overnight! i had no clue that anesthesia could have that type of short term? long term? effect on some older people.

the docs stopped the bleeding and he is peeing clear now so it's time to discharge him - even though he is in a totally confused state of mind. the hospital social worker calls yesterday and tells me that he simply cannot be alone. well, that's another problem because he lives alone and eight hours from me.

the decision had to be made about a nursing home. my brother, who supposedly has 'power of attorney' is somewhere in the southern part of the state on vacation. i finally got a hold of him and explained the choices - as the hospital will be discharging dad before the brother is home from vaca.

even though the hometown nursing home is going to cost more per day, we thought it would be better to have him there where people would come visit him. i have no idea what his finances are and i do not know how this is going to be handled financially. i arranged with the director for them to pick dad up and bring him there upon his discharge.

a couple weeks prior to this, the family took his car keys and car away. a couple weeks before that he moved into a 6-plex apartment, after being in the house for 20-25 years. a couple weeks before that the doc gave him an alzheimer's test - he scored 19/26. the doc put him on aricept. this has been a very fast downward spiral for him.

i know he does not want to be in a care center. i know he cannot come down here - he's 85 and has been in the hometown his entire adult life. i know he's going to hate us if he does recover from the effects of the anesthesia and realizes his money is gone and he's in a nursing home.

please, god forgive me - and god, please be kind to him, he's my dad.

watching the clock

2009-07-17T16:40:00.004-05:00

i'm sitting here trying very hard to get some work out that needs to get done.
i cannot focus.
it seems every second i am checking the time.
my mind and my heart are elsewhere.

in 17 minutes peggy will be at the viewing of her son.

it crushes me as i think about peggy seeing her only child lying in the casket ...
he, being completely at peace - she, being completely shattered.

NO ugly cookies

2009-07-14T15:51:00.003-05:00

NOTE: guess i forgot to post this one for some reason

for the 4th of july party i decided to make cutout cookies in the shape of stars. i thought cookies won't melt in the sun and everybody likes a cutout cookie.
very appropriate don't you think?

i mixed them up, chilled them, rolled them, cut them out, baked them, and then i made the frosting.
it was a new frosting recipe and it actually was an excellent one.
but after i got the frosting on and started in with the sprinkles, i could see that they just were not going to be pr'E no matter what i did. and of course, i made a double batch - so then i had about 60-70 uglyUglyUGLY cutout cookies - and no time to try to make something else to take.

the ugly cookies were going with me to OK.

i made mention of the ugly cookies on the facebook page - where the OK! cousin can see.

i tell ya, those OK! cousins are some real shits!

when we pulled into their driveway they had these signs posted in the doorway - check out the 'examples' of what is 'excellent' and what is NOT ALLOWED.

and my reaction:

and the second one

2009-07-13T14:05:00.006-05:00

I was on the phone with my lifelong friend and cousin, Peg, yesterday. We were rehashing the week - she talking about concerns of two of grandkids there in Alaska and the shape her ex-daughter-in-law and son are in. Both are alcoholics - and recently had started hooking up again with each other. She's telling of the struggle she is having with all this and in mid-sentence she says, "who is that pulling in my driveway?" She pauses, and then says it's the ex-daughter-in-law." Then I hear her say, "something is wrong. Oh God I hope it's not my son."

Five to ten minutes later she calls back with the devastating news, "Todd passed away."

Todd was her only child - he was 35 years old.

So, there she is over half a country away and dealing with the death of her son. I asked her if she wanted me to come out. She said she wanted to sleep on it.

Her mother and a half-sister will not be going out until the 21st. Peg has a strong al-anon family there - thank GOD she became involved in that over 2 years ago. She also has a significant other that she recently started seeing. He has been away for about 3 weeks - but said he would be making arrangements to fly back in while she is coping.

I am in the midst of making another memorial DVD slideshow of someone I know. I hoped I would not have to do that for quite some time because when it's someone you know and love, it completely drains you emotionally.

Since music is not my thing, megaTHANKS to Jockfulloftunes, who is going to help with the music selection. The family will be scanning and sending the photos ASAP - and hopefully, I can have this put together and sent out to her by the 22nd.

I am so sorry for Peg. Todd was a troubled soul, but he was always a treat to be around- there was never a dull moment.
His heart was full of love - but his dreams could not get past the liquor.

With much love ~

Todd Christopher W.
12-29-1973 ~ 07-12-2009

the toshiba dildos

2009-07-11T18:38:00.002-05:00

I've got vista on one of my machines.
i hate it.
i had to call for support last week (to some God-forsaken foreign country) cuz i couldn't get the 'restore' option to open.
the 'tech' told me "i can help you with this. i will get your machine back to where it was when you purchased it."
umm and will you also come over here and spend all the hours re-installing the software?
dildo!
i figured it out - i had to start it in 'safe mode' and then do the restore.
i'm going to see if i can get a job on their help desk.

the 4th here and gone

2009-07-07T16:05:00.017-05:00

we were in Oklahoma this past weekend. another couple went with us over to the OK! cousins.
sometimes people mix well, and sometimes not so much. i'm trying to make this work - but the truth is, the other gal and i just don't have much in common. and the more she tells about how her financial relationship is between her and her man, the more i'm losing all respect for both of them.

of course it's NONE OF MY BUSINESS! but she keeps telling me - why do you suppose that is? i have asked her why she puts up with that crap and all she says is, "it's better than being alone."

i guess we all have our price that we will pay to avoid being alone, eh?

ok, so i cracked a beer kinda early that day and ended up being a passenger rather than one of the drivers on the ATV - thank GOD i remembered the salt shaker so i could continue drinking&riding.

Below is a dilapidated tribal graveyard - each of the roofs are from these little 'houses' they build over the graves. inside they place some of the deceased's favorite things - usually articles of clothing and such. it's quite interesting to see. this particular graveyard does not get much maintenance - as you can see. the other one we went to was for indians of foreign wars - that seemed to be kept up a bit better - there was even one of the 'houses' with a red tin roof.

i caught the hen and her chick in the hen house settling down for the night. we were surprised to see that the chick could get up to the top rung of the roost. the chick stayed safely tucked under the hen's wing - the flash of the camera did not seem to startle them in the least.

check out the bench seat 'molded' between the trees. this is on the farm where the party was on the 4th. part of the land used to house arock quarry. on the backside of this is this oldOldOLD shambled rock building. one of the "farmer's daughters" told me she thinks that is where the owners of the rock quarry lived - unfortunately, my camera would not get any decent photos of it in the dark - and i was not going to chance crawling under the electric fence to get closer - and going over the electric fence - well that is just dumb

some of the OK friends killing worms and minnows.

gone with the curtain?

2009-07-01T05:14:00.009-05:00

once a week i try to make a stop at the local thrift store. the last time i was there they had 4 silk curtain panels, each one about 48" x 84". they were a $1 each. hey! $4 for all that 100% silk fabric - it's definitely going home with me.

i washed them up - even though it says 'dry clean only'. needless to say, they didn't wash up so nice - well not nice enough to hang anymore. what to do with them now?

on a side note, when i get out of the shower/tub, i really hate to dry off - i'm lazy and prefer to just throw a 'thirsty' towel or robe around and wait it out.

well, in this unforgiving heat we've been having, a terry robe or heavy towel is just a bit much. so, i decided to make myself a pareo. I tore out the cotton lining from one of the silk curtain panels and finished up the edges on the sewing machine. it is so much lighter weight than terry cloth and serves me quite well. it's just an oblong piece of fabric tied in knots - not much creativity in that.

scarlett o'hara i ain't.

the next ordeal

2009-06-17T20:24:00.003-05:00

my dad is 85. he lives alone. he has a body that is broken - back, hips, and knees, incontinent, and according to the doctor, now somewhat mentally.

we were there this past weekend and it was clear that he is even more broken than when i saw him in november. it breaks my heart to watch this 6'3" man struggle just to get up out of a chair.
when i talked to the doctor's office, they told me he scored 19/26 on the preliminary Alzheimer's test. He's now on Aricept.

his blossomed obsessive personality drives us all nuts. he buys stuff that is useless (he says it's for us???) - little does he understand (or chooses not to understand) that we don't want it.

this past weekend he tells me he wants to sell everything and move to the 6-plex which is 'semi'-assisted living. we look at that place plus another one. he really liked the first one.

i am thrilled, to say the least. it's simply not safe for him to live alone any longer and i'm 8 hours away - my one brother lives 1.5 blocks from him, but they do not have a very good relationship.

tuesday night, the malemate is off bowling and i've just poored myself a cocktail and starting to shut down for the day -- the phone rings.
it's my older brother. i answer and he goes off on me about 'stirring up shit and then leaving...like i always do'
huh?

i'm sure it appeared that way to him. so, i proceeded to tell him that it was NOT MY SUGGESTION OR DECISION - that dad had told me he wanted to do this - we simply went and scouted out a couple places with him.

apparently, dad listed the house and set an auction date with the local real estate broker/auctioneer (yeah, how convenient is that combination?) for a date in july. a date that simply does not work for my brother -- and a date which my brother specifically told dad not to go for. it's like dad is doing everything he possibly can to alienate himself from those that just want to help.

this is going to be my longest summer ever.

the road to mend

2009-06-02T17:42:00.006-05:00

tomorrow we leave.
it will be the hardest trip the malemate will ever take.
the first thing after landing, we will go to the coroner's office, from there to the crematory, from there to the place where mike lived and died.
i don't know how the malemate will react to such a morbid start to the short trip.
i know i'm glad i'm going with him so he won't be alone.

this past weekend i needed help with the music for the slideshow dvd that i did of mike. the stepdaughter is in the music business and i thought maybe she would lend a hand - since it is for her half-brother. so after 10? 12? years of basically no communication, i emailed her and asked for her help with the song selection.

she sent back 6 songs - 2 in which she is the vocalist. to say i was thrilled is an understatement. it was a loving gesture and i used both of them.

but not only did she send music, she sent a very heartfelt note. she opened the option to crossover our differences.

it goes something like this:
without either of us having to apologize for past vicious words, she is willing to go forward from this point on. i have to give it to her - that had to have been hard for her, because just 2 years ago, she made it perfectly clear to her dad that she did not want me at her wedding. her wish was granted - the malemate went to her wedding alone.

i see this arrangement as very doable. and for the malemate's sake, i welcome the opportunity.

however, i do not see much changing other than when she calls and if i answer, i may ask how she and her family are doing.

i may even sign the birthday cards now too.

and if the malemate dies before me, i'll call her and let her know.

life - unlife

2009-05-30T05:47:00.006-05:00

on may 23 we got a somewhat frantic call from the stepson's ex-girlfriend. the malemate's son (who lives in california) had not picked up his son that morning and had not called. the ex-girlfriend had also called the malemate's ex-wife who lives in texas. the ex-wife called the police in san bernardino california - as this action of the son was out of character.

about 20 minutes later we get another call from the stepson's ex-girlfriend. she drops the bomb that the stepson is dead. he was 30 years old. until the autopsy results come back with confirmation, the coroner thinks it was either sleep apnea or a heart attack. the stepson was morbidly obese.

the stepson had such a defeating financial uphill battle in front of him. he was looking forward to getting back into trucking cross country so that MAYBE he could get himself out of this deep hole that he had dug for himself.

the stepson and i had our ups and downs over the years - but the communication over the past few years had gone much better. i'm just glad i had the chance to tell him thanks for the granddaughter - as she is someone special.

i'm so sad for the malemate as it simply is not natural for the child to die first. he has his bursts, but he has been great with orchestrating the things that must be dealt with to put his son's remains in the proper places - from half a country away - along with the ex-wife, who is also holding up as well as can be expected.

initially, i was not going to go with the malemate to CA - as i did not get the feeling he really wanted me there. keeping in mind that i do not get along well with his daughter, his ex-wife and i have very little, if no respect for the son's ex-girlfriend (who is also the mother of one of the stepson's kids). but let's face it, death trumps my distaste for those women.

so as of wednesday night, i will be going with the malemate to CA. my main reason for going is that i did not want him to be alone when he picked up his son's remains. it will be devastating for him when he realizes that will be the last time he will carry his son in his arms.

thank you mike for the two beautiful babies you gave the world.

rest in peace

mike b. 02-28-1979 - 05-23-2009

the new tank - maybe not

2009-05-03T10:40:00.001-05:00

i bought myself a new notebook - yep, another toshiba tank. the problem is, it has vista on it. i really don't want to educate myself on vista. needless to say, i have been dragging my feet on setting it up. however, i really need to get it done if i'm going to keep it because we are heading to the hometown the first weekend in june and i NEED to take a laptop along. the old one still works - it just seems kinda slow and it needs a new battery. i would have to buy a new car adapter for the new one also - which isn't that much - i just don't want to buy it, if i can't decide whether i'm going to keep it or not. these seem like such simple problems - which they are - but they are just the type of thing that will consume me.

i just did some research on that model of toshiba - and apparently there's problems with the power adapter. so, i think that answers my dilemma. i'm going to stay with my old one for now and take the new one back. i just don't want to deal with the hassles right now. i'll do it like always do it - when i absolutely have to - when this notebook completely dies on me, at a most inoportune time and i am in a full-blown panic mode.

so, i'm off to ebay to buy a battery for the old one.

sanyo tv is my new monitor

2009-04-12T07:59:00.001-05:00

i got up the other morning stressing about how i had to get the previous day's work out. i flipped on the computer and waited.
what? no picture on the screen?
so i turned the machine back off, turned the monitor off (for the first time in months) and then turned it all back on.
still no monitor.

crapCrapCRAP! now I have to take time out of my day to go out and buy another flat panel monitor. aren't those things supposed to last forever? that's what they say about them in the landfill, so what gives? ;-)

the broken monitor had the speakers built in. when i had the machine built, i asked for and paid extra for that specifically so i didn't have to have the extra contraptions sitting on my desk, speakers that is. as it turns out, the built in speakers on that acer monitor sucked, and i eneded up having to buy separate ones anyway.
yeh, learn from me on that one.

so i made the trek to my local wally world to look for a computer monitor. they had monitors, but nothing i liked. in the meantime, the malemate was looking at 52" tvs.

it dawned on me that an lcd hdtv should work as a monitor for my computer AND the speakers are built in.
so, i bought myself a sanyo 19" lcd tv for $184.
now, here's a little bonus. at walmart they have a 15-day return policy on most electronics - including computer monitors, but for tvs it's 90 days. plenty of time to find out if it will work - unlike the 15 day crap.

i brought it home and plugged it in. it came up without any 'tweaking' on my part and voile' i have picture! and the sound? very nice.

i'm so techno-savvy that my brain hurts...
or maybe that's the overdose of scotch last night.

cable cometh

2009-04-09T07:33:00.004-05:00

this photo may not mean anything to anyone except for the folks in my 'hood', who have been anxiously awaiting an option for high speed internet.

the photo is of a trench digger broke down in my backyard -- waiting for repair so that they can CONTINUE dropping cable for cable tv and, more importantly, cable HIGH SPEED internet!
yeh, it's broke down, but i'm sure they will be out there digging with their shovels and hands if they can't get it fixed, because they know how badly i want it.

yes, soon i will be surfing the net and downloading from the comfort of my own home at speeds I have not seen in almost three years and without any caps or FAP bullshit.

I see the hughesnet must be noticing the pull away from their piece of shit offerings as they have now widened their 'unlimited download window' from 3 hours a day to 5 hours a day.
too little too late hughesnet.

on a different note, my little city had their annual 'city-wide garage sale' this past weekend and thanks to the OK! cousin, i had someone to go to them with. it was nice to do that once again with someone. i've gotten so used to doing that stuff by myself that i almost left her at one of the sales -- forgetting i had a junkin buddy for the day.
kidding of course :)

i think my best buy was the Bose ear buds for $5 -- and maybe the 5 foot long 'wall art' metal branch for $15. damn! it was a good time and apparently this once-a-year sale doubles the size of the town for a couple days.

oh, and my fruit pizza was such a big hit with the OK! cousins that it was gone in 2 days and i had to make another one -- which also was gone in two days. good stuff i tell ya.

the dullDullDULL life

2009-02-27T12:41:00.002-06:00

the re-install of the spyware is done. it went well and i had about a month's worth of stuff to review. in case you are wondering, it's all good.
yeh, surprises me too. maybe he really does want to make something of this relationship. of course he has been checking single ticket, one-way airfare to california. interesting.

i found a new toy on the net the other day -- new to me. it's called digsby. it's a multi-protocol messaging application. i have used trillian and pidgin -- but this digsby, hands down is my new favorite. if you are opening bunches of chat applications cuz you have people on all different ones, try the digsby - it even includes facebook.

the new work has been going pretty well and steady.
damn, i hate to post that. it seems every time i do, it gets yanked out from under me. i chat with the other gal from the now defunct gastro account almost on a daily basis and she really thinks this new work is going down. she said it again yesterday -- i hope her comment is cuz she doesn't like the new gal and not intuition.
of course, i haven't seen a check yet either and it's been a month and a half.
suddenly, i'm bummed.

post SA

2009-02-16T05:38:00.001-06:00

i'm feeling pretty OK after being fired from the volunteer work at the SA and being dumped by her. i missed not going there yesterday. i missed the laughing and and playing in the kitchen - but i'm actually okay with it. i have looked back on what i now realize was a 'quasi-friendship', or more commonly called acquaintance and see that it probably wasn't me at all. she has lived in these parts her entire 44 years and never talked about getting together with any life-long friends and doing things. i find that very odd when i think back on it. i still connect with my friends from junior high when i go back home and even chat with some them online occasionally. so, i've come to the conclusion that it's her. she sucks as a friend, hence that is why she does not have any. her loss, cuz i may not be good at a lot of things, but i'm pretty good at being a friend.

now, about the malemate. i bought myself a new computer a few weeks back. i have not installed the spyware on it yet. i'm still debating it. the malemate has not been on his machine much for the past few months. maybe he realized i was serious the last time we had the chat about his shenanigans.

who am i kidding, of course i'm going to install it on here. in fact, i'm going to email the company right now and see how i can move settings and logs from the old drive to this one. gotta go - i've got work to do.

textual dumping

2009-02-11T07:17:00.002-06:00

I have been volunteering for the past two and half years on Sunday mornings at SA. Through there I met Leslie. She was so much fun to work with and I thought we were friends. Apparently not as I received a text from her the other day that said: "i dont want to talk ... i need some space. it would be a good idea if u didn't volunteer right now. please dont call or come by"

huh?

I had just talked to her on the phone the night before and she filled me in on some very troublesome things that are going in her life -- but, she seemed okay with me. Needless to say, this came out of nowhere for me and sent me into a little mental tailspin.

So, after living here for going on three years now, I'm ready to leave. Clearly I'm not meeting any people and clearly I'm not going to make an effort to do so.

So, after doing some serious thinking about things and realizing how unbelievably lonely I really am, I think it's time to move back to the hometown. I hate the cold winters and the sweltering summers -- but it would be good to be around famdamily and at the very least have something to bitch about.

If only the malemate had not fucked up our lives, I would not feel like I have lost almost three years of my life. Will this anger and disgust ever go away?
What's done is done - I really need to let it go and move on.
I wish I knew how to do that.

the neighbor has it right

2009-01-20T14:42:00.002-06:00

my neighbor is showing his heartfelt disappointment regarding the inauguration.

i feel his pain.

the power of enthusiasm

2009-01-20T05:54:00.004-06:00

the gastro account ended last wednesday. wednesday afternoon I got a call from a shari in texas who said I submitted a resume to someone in oregon and that person forwarded it to her.
refresher reminder: there are no secrets on the internet
it's obvious from shari's voice that she is both overwhelmed with work AND very excited about her new account -- which i might add, she single-handedly brought back into the USA from a company in india AND the head doctor of this facility is indian -- turban and all!

this is absolutely hugeHugeHUGE! and megaKUDOS to her for doing so.

for those who don't know much about the medical transcription industry -- this india issue is a real problem here in the good ol' USA. the medical records (which often times include SSN and date of birth) are electronically shipped to india to be typed for 2c-4c/line, which is a good deal for the doctors -- however, it sucks for those of us in the industry for obvious reasons and it sucks for the USA consumers because of the privacy issue. The privacy law (HIPAA) is a USA law only, hence if you ever worry or wonder about identity theft - don't forget to consider your doctor's office/medical records and where they are sending your information to be transcribed.

i was very upset about what she offers for money, but pacified a bit because of the gross line counts. she just sounds so desperate for help and she sounds like a very wonderful person and she has soooooo much enthusiasm in her voice that i couldn't turn her down.

umm, that and the fact that, out of all of the resumes i've put out there, she is the only one that has responded.

i'm back to typing ortho for much less money than before AND i'm really excited about it!

i'm a pushover.